xcommunicator

forgiveness

2006-11-07T03:33:00.000-08:00

i'm working on forgiveness.

i know that i am forgiven & have known that for years; but i have not learned how to forgive. i want to take steps in that direction. i want to learn how to forgive, especially those who not only do not ask for it, they do not care if i do.

but to hold onto a hurt is to be a slave to the one who hurt you; to forgive is to be free

this is extremely hard to grasp but has given me great comfort in the last few days

bring them home

2006-10-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

it is little understood by those who have not been there; it is wondered about & cursed; it is called murder & that is probably a good name for it.

but we who d0 it, who believe that we stand between evil and worse evil, can face ourselves with tears of regret remorse and sorrow for those who want to take the precious lives of others and yet still say - we stood against evil

is the only action to stand against evil to stand? courage to peacefully protest and fight evil non-violently is noble and just. is fighting evil with violence unjust?

are all who believe in the way, to lay down their swords?

if this was so, why didn't John the Baptizer tell that to the soldiers who asked, "What shall we do?"

should we have let Hitler keep Europe & Japan keep Asia?

here is how i truly feel

KING. This day is called the feast of Crispian:

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,

And rouse him at the name of Crispian.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian":

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.

And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day: then shall our names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words

Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,

Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,

Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remember'd;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition:

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. (IV, iii)

life

2006-09-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

life is but the infancy of our immortality

No pun in ten did.

2006-08-31T08:57:00.002-07:00

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) .... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

No pun in ten did.

2006-08-31T08:57:00.001-07:00

No pun in ten did.

2006-08-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

laugh 'til you hurt

2006-08-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

Every year, English teachers from across the
country can submit their collections of actual
similes and metaphors found in high school
essays. These excerpts are published each year to
the amusement of teachers across the country.
Here are last year's winners.

1) Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle
that had its two sides gently compressed by a
Thigh Master.

2) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and
breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer
without Cling Free.

3) He spoke with the wisdom that can only come
from experience,like a guy who went blind because
he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around
the country speaking at high schools about the
dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4) She grew on him like she was a colony of
E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian
beef.

5) She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like
that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever

7) He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8) The revelation that his marriage of 30 years
had disintegrated because of his wife's
infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9) The little boat gently drifted across the pond
exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10) McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement
like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11) From the attic came an unearthly howl. The
whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like
when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12) Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose
hair after a sneeze.

13) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just
like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14) Long separated by cruel fate, the
star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field
toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at
55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a
speed of 35 mph.

15) They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood
with picket fences that resembled Nancy
Kerrigan's teeth.

16) John and Mary had never met. They were like
two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17) He fell for her like his heart was a mob
informant, and she was the East River.

18) Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind
like a steel trap, only one that had been left
out so long, it had rusted shut.

19) Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law
Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21) The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind
you get from not eating for a while.

22) He was as lame as a duck. Not the
metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck
that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something.

23) The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and
extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog
at a fire hydrant.

24) It was an American tradition, like fathers
chasing kids around with power tools.

25) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he
thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage
truck backing up.

in communion one on one with the creator

2006-08-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

Oh God,

I feel guilty about something today (well a great many things, but one in particular today). Since making a mess of things at Christ Church, my family has not regularly attended traditional Christian worship @ a "church." There are many excuses that I could make, but quite frankly today's is weak. We all simply, completely and totally enjoyed an August Saturday into a Sunday morn and slept late.

Yesterday, my wife & daughter went to see our good friend in a ballet. I was initially slated to go, but once outside, I needed the whole day out of doors. I send entirely too much time in my basement office & inside tutoring. I wanted an entire day in my yard - my BACK yard, where the vegetables grow and where I can allow my mind to roam about the plans I have for my own garden. I know what it means to be put into the garden to work it; there is no other activity that I enjoy so completely and so thoroughly.

And so on this "Lord's Day" I was out in my garden for a few hours again. I tried to keep my thoughts on our relationship; I tried to pray. But my mind wondered to cucumbers, tomatoes, mulch, how I will do my beans next year and where things will go and when. I have plans for a "kitchen garden" near the back door, with lettuce & herbs all beautifully laid out as if they were a flower bed. I want to put a little bench in the midst of it and have a curved path.

"The eye likes a curve," said a very wise woman I met years ago. Tis true, for the Lord makes almost everything with curves. Straight lines are almost exclusively the construction of man.

Lord, I have never felt closer to you than yesterday and today. I was not thinking of war, nor of the guilt of my many failings, for I am too feeble to comtemplate such large things, I am simply a man in need of forgiveness. I basked in the blessings of a family that is intact & time given to me on a gorgeous day with your creation. It is almost as if you, Abba, had given me toys to enjoy and I was playing in our family's yard. I could almost feel you smile as you looked out the window to occassionally watch me.

I felt you chuckle as you saw me lost in daydreaming about what to make out of the big cardboard box that you dropped down. A castle? A spaceship? A pirateship with a plank? Nay, a walking path to put on top of the tilled earth so that my tread will not compact the soil. The cardboard will rot and become part of the soil.

Oh, my plans are many for my little Eden ~ will you but keep me here & sustain me, whilst transforming me into a man who does your will in my little town.

Today's communion is enough for me; but yet I feel (I think) we need more & we will continue to strive to be part of a community that gathers in worship, pray and forgiveness in the name of your Son.

Thanks Dad, I had a great weekend

Amen.

The day Chippewa Died

2006-08-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

My daddy was a gardener on the east side of Chippewa
Back in the USA back in the bad old days . . .

In the heat of a summer day
In the land of the tomato
When the plants of Chippewa died
And they talk about it too
When a rodent named "Gus" Capone
Tried to make that garden his own
And he called his gang to war
With the forces of the law

I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the day Chippewa died
Brother what a day it really was
Brother what a fray it really was
Glory be!
I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the day Chippewa died
Brother what a day the people saw
Brother what a fray the people saw
Yes indeed

And the sound of the battle rang
Through the rows of the tomato patch
'Til the last of the rodent gang
Had surrendered in a bang
There was shouting at the house
And the sound scared mouse
And I asked someone who said
"'Bout a hundred 'hogs 'ill be dead"

I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the day Chippewa died
Brother what a day it really was
Brother what a fray it really was
Glory be!
I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the day Chippewa died
Brother what a day the people saw
Brother what a fray the people saw
Yes indeed

And ther was no sound at all
But the clock upon the wall
Then the door burst open wide
And my David stepped inside
And he kissed Linda's face
And he brushed her SCREAMS away

You shot at the HOUSE!

The day CHippewa died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The day Chippewa died
Brother what a day the people saw
Brother what a fray the people saw
Yes indeed

The day CHippewa died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The day Chippewa died
Brother what a day the people saw
Brother what a fray the people saw
Yes indeed

The day CHippewa died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The day Chippewa died
Brother what a day the people saw
Brother what a fray the people saw
Yes indeed

You know who you are . . .

Just in case you have a hankering for the real lyrics:

My daddy was a cop on the east side of Chicago
Back in the USA back in the bad old days
In the heat of a summer night
In the land of the dollar bill
When the town of Chicago died
And they talk about it still
When a man named Al Capone
Tried to make that town his own
And he called his gang to war
With the forces of the law

I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother what a night it really was
Brother what a fight it really was
Glory be!
I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother what a night the people saw
Brother what a fight the people saw
Yes indeed

And the sound of the battle rang
Through the streets of the old east side
'Til the last of the hoodlum gang
Had surrendered up or died
There was shouting in the street
And the sound of running feet
And I asked someone who said
"'Bout a hundred cops are dead"

I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother what a night it really was
Brother what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my mama cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother what a night the people saw
Brother what a fight the people saw
Yes indeed

And ther was no sound at all
But the clock upon the wall
Then the door burst open wide
And my daddy stepped inside
And he kissed my mama's face
And he brushed her tears away

The night Chicago died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The night Chicago died
Brother what a night the people saw
Brother what a fight the people saw
Yes indeed

The night Chicago died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The night Chicago died
Brother what a night it really was
Brother what a fight it really was
Glory be

The night Chicago died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The night Chicago died
Brother what a night the people saw
Brother what a fight the people saw
Yes indeed

David -- watch your back dude, Linda may fire you

2006-07-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Blogger in France sues after being fired

By ANGELA DOLAND, Associated Press Writer2 hours, 24 minutes ago

The 33-year-old British expat in Paris writes under the pseudonym "La Petite Anglaise" and tells of love affairs, single motherhood and office bloopers with self-deprecating, "Bridget Jones"-style humor.

She kept her popular blog anonymous, never revealing her full name or workplace. But despite her attempts at secrecy, her employer found out and fired her — unusual in labor-protected France, where workers have strong legal protections.

Now she's suing her employer in a case generating buzz on both sides of the English Channel.

The lawsuit is seen as a test case in France, where there have been few cases of bloggers getting fired, unlike in the United States, where there is even a word for it: getting "dooced," a reference to the author of http://www.dooce.com, Heather B. Armstrong, who was fired for writing about her colleagues.

The expat in Paris goes only by Catherine and declined to reveal her last name because of the personal tales she recounts on the site, http://www.petiteanglaise.com. She says she was careful never to reveal online the name of the British company she worked for as a bilingual secretary.

Most of her office stories were, she says, "fairly humorous anecdotes about things that happened to me" — accidentally exposing her cleavage on a video conference screen or tumbling down a staircase. She also poked fun at the office portrait of Queen Elizabeth II.

"I wasn't describing what my employers did, or disclosing professional secrets or criticizing the firm or anything," she said in a telephone interview.

Her employers, the accounting firm Dixon Wilson, cited "loss of trust" and said they felt she had damaged their reputation, Catherine said. Though her name was never used online, her photo appear in a French newspaper article about her blog.

The company also pointed out that she had acknowledged lying about absences from work, saying two half-days were for childcare when she was really playing hooky. And she sometimes used her work computer to update her blog — though she says she only blogged during downtime, when others would write e-mail or read newspapers.

Dixon Wilson did not return several calls seeking comment.

On July 10, Catherine filed a complaint with a workers tribunal, suing for up to two years of salary, or about $110,000.

On her blog, Catherine revealed her predicament this week, describing how she tried to keep up her spirits for her 3-year-old daughter the day she got fired by throwing an impromptu birthday party for a doll.

She had 10,000 hits the day of the announcement, and now she has more than 300 messages from well-wishers.

"What's the French word for dooced?" one well-wisher wrote. "Maybe you could make one up."

Scott they are looking for you . . . turn yourself in

2006-07-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

wouldn't it just be easier for everyone involved if scott would simply give up the man hunt and turn himself in:

2-year Neanderthal genome project launches

By GEIR MOULSON, Associated Press Writer2 hours, 52 minutes ago

U.S. and German scientists on Thursday launched a two-year project to decipher Neanderthals' genetic code, a feat that they hope will help deepen understanding of how modern humans' brains evolved.

Neanderthals were a species of the Homo genus who lived in Europe and western Asia from more than 200,000 years ago to as little as roughly 30,000 years ago.

Scientists from Germany's Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology are teaming up with Branford, Connecticut-based 454 Life Sciences Corp. to map the Neanderthal genome, or DNA code.

"The Neanderthal is the closest relative to the modern human, and we believe that by sequencing the Neanderthal we can learn a lot," said Michael Egholm, the vice president of molecular biology at 454, which will use its high-speed sequencing technology in the project.

There are no firm answers yet about how humans picked up key traits such as walking upright and developing complex language. Neanderthals are believed to have been relatively sophisticated, but lacking in humans' higher reasoning functions.

The Neanderthal project follows scientists' achievement last year in deciphering the DNA of the chimpanzee, our closest living relative, which produced a long list of DNA differences with the chimp and some hints about which ones might be crucial.

The chimp genome "led to literally too many questions, there were 35 million differences between us and chimpanzees — that's too much to figure out," Jonathan Rothberg, 454's chairman, said in a telephone interview.

"By having Neanderthal, we'll really be able to home in on the small percentage of differences that gave us higher cognitive abilities," he said. "Neanderthal is going to open the box. It's not going to answer the question, but it's going to tell where to look to understand all of those higher cognitive functions."

Over two years, the scientists aim to reconstruct a draft of the 3 billion building blocks of the Neanderthal genome — working with fossil samples from several individuals.

They face the complication of working with 40,000-year-old samples, and of filtering out microbial DNA that contaminated them after death.

About 5 percent of the DNA in the samples is actually Neanderthal DNA, Egholm estimated, but he and Rothberg said pilot experiments had convinced them that the decoding was feasible.

At the Max Planck Institute, the project also involves Svante Paabo, who nine years ago participated in a pioneering, though smaller-scale, DNA test on a Neanderthal sample.

That study suggested that Neanderthals and humans split from a common ancestor a half-million years ago and backed the theory that Neanderthals were an evolutionary dead end.

The new project will help in understanding how characteristics unique to humans evolved and "will also identify those genetic changes that enabled modern humans to leave Africa and rapidly spread around the world," Paabo said in a statement Thursday.

Work???

2006-07-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

I ABSOLUTELY HATE MY FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It doesn't interest me in the least bit. It does nothing but give me a hard time. And, my boss can't teach worth a shit. As I was struggling to fix something, and naturally I was making it worse because I hate computers and non-friendly programs, my boss, decides to call it a day and leaves me to my doom at the end of the day--she left. Then so did I. I don't care, I really hate it...

Problem is, this fucking program really sucks and any little mistake morphs into a million other problems if you don't do it correctly the first time. Well, after I thought that everything was going okay. Bammm, it wasn't...

My boss and I had just had a morning meeting about what needed to be done and I didn't even have too use notes. I had everything memorized, however, she is pushing me to take off the water wings way before my time. She is a pathetic teacher and doesn't realize that turn-over is a major problem in any business. It's lost talent and lost opportunity every time you let that happen. Well, I've decided, I'm threw. I'm officially looking for something that interests me. I don't care if it pays less, I'll deal with it. But this job really sucks right now and I'm having a very, very difficult time being thankful for it. I'm officially praying for something that I can enjoy becuause I certainly DO NOT enjoy this. I really could give a shit about supply management and it has now caused me to question all of my previous decisions and to also put-off having children even further because I'm also questioning my own maturity.

This sucks, I haven't been this mad for a long time. And, the worst of it is, I'm mad at myself for making so many shitty decisions. If any of you write back and tell me how many shitty decisions you've made, I'm really gonna puke. I'm the one who said "Volition trumps circumstance" and I really believe it. It's more than half the reason I'm so pissed-off just now.

Aaseraweaweroupasoeriu

I hate this. I'd really love to find something to do for a living that actually makes me satisfied for a days work. I realy didn't want to have to resort to just working for works sake and a pay check but that is exactly what it is coming too.

well said david

2006-07-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

i am going to cut & paste that last conversation (and what is yet to come) to high quality paper & save, digest, meditate and share with those who God is pleased to give me.

i just spent the last hour typing & editting. i deleted it all for it added nothing to david's fine words. ones that he has given me on numerous occasions. i am trying to be on that path, trying to be a DOULOS to my family & in-laws.

serve them in silence without a response & pray for them on your knees, behind a closed door.

last week, susan cut me deeply in front of her family, it hit a nerve & i responded too quickly. in tears alone, i cried out to the Lord - "where are YOU in all of this?"

you know, he responded, then & now coming home to read this exchange. Ali came to comfort me, susan apologized then and two or three more times. (she cut me again last night and this morning - but apologizes flowed). she is so stubborn, that i can honestly say that those three or four are more than the first 10 years of our marriage.

her sister's family & dog stayed here last night on the way to drop my teenage nephew off at a 4 week camp (my idea to stop here instead of a hotel). after reading your post & responding I went to the store and bought them a feast - when they arrived, I had his favorite beer on ice; she opened a bottle of fine wine - a gift to me carried here from italy.

i awoke early and carried for their dog; made a huge breakfast and literally waited on them hand and foot. (it was during all of this that the jabs & cuts came again).

i cooked more eggs, made more coffee, poured more juice

i am not bragging, i fucked some of it up -- you all know my ego. so i'm not saying this lightly, it SUCKED.

Lord, where are you in all of this?

right here Phillip, carrying for YOU - knucklehead!!

Peace?

2006-07-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

I haven’t written on here for a long time. Most of my inner thoughts get emailed directly to Phil. (Which is good for me, and probably bad for Phil.)

…Sorry Phil.

I’m really struggling with some matters of the faith. Well, let me re-word that. I’m not struggling with my faith in Christ specifically, but rather I’m struggling with peripheral matters that unfortunately go along with that dynamic. The “peace” of Christ doesn’t seem to find me in certain areas. The biggest area this pertains to is the relationship with my family. My wife and I are heading along the road of “family outcasts”.

For those of you who don’t know me, I come from an extremely left-wing activist family. My father is a naturalist who’s theology is 70% American Indian and 30% hippie. (He doesn’t call it a theology, but it clearly is. Anything apart from that theology isn’t to be tolerated.) My mother is a radical women’s libber who’s devotion to NARAL and similar groups is legendary. She’s a practicing pro-choice protester and a died-in-the-wool leftist to the point of social Marxism. My sister is a clone of my mother, and the rest of my extended family is the same. (The exception being my cousin in Detroit who I’m very close with, but he’s far away.)

Anyway, the “family” hasn’t been happy with my devotion to Christ- which is going into its 4th year. I’ve done my best to keep things civil with them, despite numerous shots taken at me and insults hurled towards Christians at every gathering I’m at with these folks. If I retaliate, I’m the bad guy and the damned “matriarchs” of the family call me and say I should “Be nice”. (By be “nice” they mean “tolerate their comments, jabs, and insults” while not opening up my own mouth.)

Its intensified lately. Two weeks ago I was at a party for father’s day and my 5 year old nephews birthday- and it was the official “Christian pot-shot” day. (Their equation is a simple, yet illogical one “George Bush = Christian. We hate George Bush. George Bush is reflective of all Christians. We hate them too.” It gets old. REAL old. However, I normally can take it. I usually find a convenient excuse to leave the room in protest.

Well, yesterday April and I went to my parents house to visit with them and my nephew (who spent the night there)- someone spoke up in a big way after some comments- and was pissed off. Nope- it wasn’t me.

My wife couldn’t take it anymore and she told my Dad that his beliefs he pushes on people were as “fantastic, wild-eyed and faith based” as anything Christians could possibly promote. First, he was shocked. He had just spouted off on how Evolution should be the only thing taught in schools and its true, and my wife couldn’t take him any longer.

(It was a beautiful thing to see April break her usual polite silence.)

My Dad tore into her. He angrily asked her what the hell she knew about the subject. She said “Well sir, I have a BA in biology if you’d like to discuss this.”

Gotta love her! And its SOOOO unlike her. (I can't BELIEVE she pulled out the "hey Mr. Economics major, I'm a biology major...lets talk shop" bomb.)

(aside: God..I love this woman!)

His response (while screaming) “Don’t you dare say another thing about evolution in my house again, got it!”

April said “Why, that it’s stupid? Or that it can’t be proven.. just like a faith?”

I jumped in and told him that he’s getting all fired up over a scientific discussion and to settle the hell down and quit acting like his irrational brother in law. (Who’s known to get so fired up about things that he puts his fist through walls). Mom came running in from outside to calm everyone down. Nobody spoke afterwards.

This is just one incident of many that have happened over the past 3 years. My relationship with my family is in a steady state of decline. In short, they hate Christians with convictions. They really don’t like the “new me”. They especially don’t like that April and I are unified in our faith too. We’ve become targets of their animosity towards Christians, and its been a steady decline in friendliness. I love them very much, and I try my best to keep things “family”, but any time we are together its like I’m a symbol for all they hate, and they can’t fathom how one of their own could have “fallen into such idiocy”.

There’s no denying it. It hurts. I am growing used to it… to the point where I don’t even want to be around them at all. It simply can’t stay civil, and they are unwilling to “keep it light”. My wife and I are finding ways to bail out of holiday gatherings and birthdays. (Mom’s birthday is next week, and I dread it like you don’t know..) Its just really bad when we are all together. The tension is VERY tangible.

Personally- I’m done with it. I love them very much, but I will not have misdirected anger focused at me and my wife. I wanted to knock my father out for the way he spoke to my wife yesterday… and that wouldn’t’ have been good. Yet their message is simple… “Be more like us, and come join us.”

Not happening.

And it makes no sense. In 2001, they adored me and were kind to me- and I would bring women to family cookouts who no parent should be proud of their kid for dating. They knew the old me. I was a wreck and very screwed up. They accepted me. But I guess being a Christian is something they can’t abide by me doing. (The horror! Tell us he’s not “one of them!”)

To be perfectly honest, my wife has been in a state of mourning as it pertains to her family and how it fell apart for some time. Now I find myself in mourning about how my family as I once knew it has changed, and the relationship I have with them keeps disintegrating. The scripture on this subject is pretty clear. (All of Matthew 10 comes to mind). But I guess its one thing to read it, and another to “feel” it.

In short: it sucks royally.

My wife and I came home and we were both very sad about what happened. She looked me in the eyes and said “Wow, we really are alone. At least we have each other.” That IS quite a blessing.

But the pain is still there.

Christ’s peace just doesn’t seem to find me often. Is the answer that my wife and I become reclusive and only hang with fellow Christians? Is that what its come to? I don’t understand that, because I’m friends with many non-Christians who I love being around who we can talk for hours and no controversy and no provoking ever occurs. However, within my own family, I guess that’s too much to ask. It looks like some “sudden reclusiveness” is in my future as it pertains to my family. It’s a shame its come to that.

But that’s the way it is.

I just wish I had some of that “peace” that many of you speak about. I just seem to find a crapload of “anger” and “disbelief”.

Evolution of Math

2006-06-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)

Teaching Math In 2006
Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100. La cuesto de su produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

busy on a day of rest

2006-06-19T03:58:00.000-07:00

susan is off to work & ali is asleep. i would be in my garden but for the rain. after this, i'm going to spend some time on my homework

david says he married a worker; well brother so did i. "lovely susan" can work the tail off of any person that i know & often does to me. i can out muscle her, but i rarely have the stamina to keep up with the work load that she desires. she does not work smart - she kills herself working & that is not a good thing, especially with tools.

she says things like, 'oh we are done working for a bit' -- a bit would be a wonderful thing; but after yesterday she has committed to taking a break until september and at least enjoying sunday as a day of rest. & i've got to keep her to it.

we are middle-aged and must watch how we treat ourselves; yes there will always be plenty of work to do, but it is better to manage it.

with that said, our house looks great. from the curb it has been transformed into the showpiece on the street. her flower gardens & landscaping are maturing and filling it. she was patient there and let it fill in. we will soon have to thin it as we begin to move things in the back of the house for MORE flower beds.

i wanted father's day off. i wanted to enjoy watching phil m. win the us open. but on friday after my midterm exam at CCAC (prob & stats for my math teacher's cert pre-req's), i went to Lowe's & bought a range hood to go over our oven (we had thrown the old one out - nasty). i completely blew off work. but i had had a very good week and needed to give myself the little rewards that keep a salesman going.

but i also bought some toys. some for me, some for me & ali. (sweet basil, sweet red peppers for me; a cheap plastic ice cream maker for me & ali).

i knew what i was getting myself into. i knew that my weekend would be handed over to her & it was.

friday afternoon, i could have started the project but ali & i made ice cream. she was obviously thrilled & it turned out great. my friend john & his girls were coming for an outing at the Carnegie Science Center & i knew that homemade ice cream afterward would hit the spot.

susan and i are different in the "smell the roses" category of life. yeah, i know all about my mistakes. but i've smelled the roses. i can say that i lived. i want ali to be able to do the basics: cook real tomato sauce, make bread & cookies. grow fresh vegetables and eat a meal where everything that we eat was grow on our own land. (if she was a boy - there would be hunting involved, but she wants no part of that & that's okay)

making your own food from scratch is just simply better. less "processing" less chemical stabilizers and more connected to the garden; literally more connected to God. for he put adam in the garden to care for it. "Hu-man" :: "Garden-man"

well friday, susan was pissed about the ice-cream. somethings she does not understand. a father & a daughter need to have things to bond over & i am making one more memory BEFORE she turns 13. susan can get over it, because for the rest of this summer i am going to make every kind of ice cream that ali wants to from the $19.95 plastic machine. i hope to wear it out.

hot summers & homemade ice cream are good memories. susan does not have those kind of memories from when she was 12 (of course she was already smoking & hanging out on street corners in south philly but that is another story)

saturday was already pre-occupied with our friends staying over & ali's math tutoring. but late saturday, i opened the box to the hood and began to read the directions; I began all of the preparation & looked things over. when i finally put it all down on saturday -- she gave me "THE LOOK" & said, "what are you going to stop now?!!!" Yeah, i think that 10:30pm on saturday night is a good time for a tired middle aged man to put down sharp tools (I was using a knife to cut through foam insulation - you know the spray kind that I used to fill the hole in the exterior wall).

sometimes at these points in life, I just want to say: okay chick, go ahead, turn off the power, run extra electrical wire KNOW where to put it and how, hold the thing up in the air as you mark the drill holes; fit the ducting it... well, confession time: sometimes i do say that. but she says that i know how -- how the F*rk do you think I know? no one ever taught me anything that i know about fixing a house. no one. not my dad that's for sure. i taught myself - so can you. oops. well those things can go unsaid now, can't they (thank god for meds).

sunday after ANOTHER sermon about how God loves a cheerful giver, this time instead of from debt ridden ccgf, it was debt-ridden st stephens. both have over spent on buildings that sit empty most of the time; ( 230 billion in real estate assets is owned by those who call themselves protestants in America; oh, i could go on; pick & choose your own scripture to support your addiction to cash that stimies the spread of the gospel & hinders spiritual formation; but i digress), we headed home for THE PROJECT. but i made her take a rest. i forced the rest on her & there we were both sound asleep in the living room for a sunday afternoon nap. (can you just FEEL me smirking as i woke up from my nap to see her asleep)

when we awoke, i took the tools, put the kitchen tv on the us open (where i watched my favorite athlete collapse at the us open again, ah phil m. what a heartbreak - but you're still my favorite, hell, you went for it) & finished the project.

it is always more than you bargained for, but it was completed. it fit; it was wired; the ducting needs some exterior trim, but it looks great.

the sun was still shining as we put away the tools & a bunch of stuff in the yard. it was so hot, i watered my garden again & then weeded it until i could not see. so glad it was raining this morning, that's a huge boost to what i have been doing

when i came in sweaty & dirty, i asked susan if she knows why i work on so many sundays. she said: "it is because you love me."

she is right.

this morning she said - we should take the weekends off for the rest of the summer.

she is right again

Volition Trumps Circumstances

2006-06-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

Luppe said that line to me last week & I have been thinking about it ever since. He had a few others & I'd love him to expound on it.

a good day to die

2006-05-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

things are actually looking up after all my recent troubles. it sucks to be humbled and fall, but it pays to pay attention when you have a mouthful of gravel.

i am set on the path to becoming a teacher, it is in the works & i have full support of my support system, (which quite frankly is a very good one).

i took my first quiz of my first class & aced it - that always makes ya happy.

i took a break from work, went banking cause i got some extra cash - that always make ya happy too. i'm giving it all to momma, she needs new clothes for her new job (no more jeans & flip flops at the Federal Government).

i don't like cranking on the phones, but i'm cranking on the phones & i'll survive.

my tutoring is going extremely well & i have expansion plans in the works. i set a deal with sewickley library for me to give seminars on how to prepare for the SAT; so every few months we'll do some marketing free of charge with the library making fliers and posting it right there at the front desk.

when the parents come in, i'll give em a taste of what i can do & then i'll have some prospects. i will of course charge less than the national companies and still make more. eliminate the middle man!!!

my other middle man has a proposal out to several high schools for us to teach SAT prep right at the school. it could be a quality gig - even full time income on part time work, now that would really make me smile

pray for each other

2006-05-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

david, you can run, but you cannot hide. until the Lord takes you we will be hounding you!!! ;~)

when in such states, don't we all want to hide?

you are welcome for the book, it makes great reading on the can. at the turn of almost every page, i could hear you talking about how to sell.

boy i sure was thinking about you while at church yesterday, st stephens; grand old building and somewhat comfortable as far as style goes - i'm not "home" there yet. but i have an open heart for "nuggets" and got a few from the pastor.

my thoughts were self-centered as they usually are. my heart was lonely, greedily wanting what we used to have in our micro-fellowship, growing our great friendship. my thoughts came to our separation lately and then ultimately to our mortality. i haven't had any good advice in a while -- i have to go at this thing alone?? that's not fair

well who said life is fair?

back to telemarketing; i have another tutoring interview at 5PM with kaplan. my SAT tutoring ends this week and i'd love to pick up some more, it will surely help me when i apply to a school

A Businessman's View of the Garden

2006-05-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

A Businessman’s view of the Garden

Phillip McCaffrey, Pittsburgh May 2006

1). Work is the first purpose of man (women too; man meaning “all human”);

· Gen 1, let us make man to RULE over the earth;

· Gen 2, so the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden to WORK it and TAKE CARE of it.

· God created us to WORK. The garden was NOT simply a paradise in the sense that Adam & Eve lived a life of enjoying it and eating as they wished without working. It had to be cultivated; “no man to work it” into "fields."

· I believe that in Genesis 2 ~ "shrubs of the field" & "plants of the field" are figures of speech referring to agriculture. Without a person working towards an organized orchard or field of agriculture, the land is much less productive. With human labor, “ruling over the earth” the land produces an increase, an abundance that would soon disappear if the land was left to its natural state (just look at all of our lawns after all this rain).

2). After the fall & sin, “the ground” was cursed, making work much more difficult: "painful toil, thorns & thistles, sweat of your brow ... until you return to the earth."

3). Work is necessary for existence on the planet. After the fall, work in and of itself is still holy, while creation groans under the curse (Romans 8). In addition the participation of man is cursed. But the work itself has been sanctified & purposed for us by God. We all do not need to be literally working the fields to fulfill God’s intentions. What is important is that we do work, if we are able. The next few chapters of Genesis show us the development of other types of work, including industrial work within generations of the fall (not millions of years of human evolution).

4). What can we draw from the lessons of working and apply to our lives as Christians in the marketplace, especially because we trust in the work of Christ and are saved by faith not by works?

· The one thing that I would like to share with people is that normal everyday work has sanctity. As believers we often wonder if we are doing enough for "the church." We see the organized activities and other events and at times feel guilty that we are not doing enough; that those "church" activities are somehow more holy than our regular daily lives working. But that is simply not true, for the first purpose of man & woman is to work, not to be in church (remember Eve was made as a “helper”). And woman business professionals were leaders in the early church: consider Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth & Priscilla, who worked alongside her husband making tents; Proverbs 30 shows a successful OT woman as well.

So each business day, begin in prayerful purpose to do what you were made for by the Lord God: WORK! And if ever someone asks you, “What are you doing to advance the Kingdom of God?” You can quite confidently replied, “I am going to work.”

so much to say . . .

2006-05-16T04:25:00.000-07:00

david has had another setback; a seizure while exercising his blog: http://postprotestant.typepad.com/

being the parent of someone who is racing towards the teenage years like a high school physics experiment is both fun & challening. A is doing great & my role is to be daddy when she needs is, coach & mentor, a bumper for hard times, soft simple quiet lovingkindness in others.

i've got to admit, i am learning more than she is & it is wonderful. the key is knowing when to disengage and stay neutral until an appropriate time, then to ask permission to be engaged again. when that time comes, act like it was the first time - be fresh & compassionate; the time in between was processing time for both of you.

giving solutions rarely works. asking "well, what do you think?" works better than most other things.

i'm very proud, the school has asked her to advance in math by studying over the summer & skipping a grade (not her idea of fun); they have also asked her to be a counselor for 5th graders moving up to middles school.

despite me, she is turning out alright

the new job is a hassle, but the kids don't have the flew & i'm not going to be just like you. i have been accepted into RMU's teaching certificate program and am aggressively persuing becoming a public school teacher. the math tutoring has been one of the best jobs i have ever had - its like getting paid to play

now i fully understand the statement: "Do what you love and are passionate about & it will not be just a J O B."

cheers

Enough!

2006-04-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

I had to break a couple things...
1- The silence - since I haven't posted in FOREVER.
2- Phil's streak of posting every 5 minutes for the last week.

Anyway, Hope all is well... Scott say hi to the Virgin Mother for me and Lup... Omedetou. Phil... its been too long... lets eat more often.

Dugan out.

A MUST read

2006-01-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

hey guys, this article is truly a MUST read: The Bible is not a jigsaw puzzle, found on The Oooze.

The author is Frank Viola & his website is Present Testimony Ministry.

Scott - this article is exactly what David was talking about at Panera last month. That we have taken our approach to Biblical Christianity in the wrong way - by disecting it scientificly & applied flawed human logic to very small portions of letters patched together as we see fit.

How can it be that so many people believe in the same bible yet hold to different theologies & practices. I for one am excited to get "Pagan Christianity: The Origins of Our Modern Church Practices." Mainly because I have found salvation through faith in Christ and deeply desire to follow the Way, but find that the pews, pulpit and parking lot lead to "fellowship" with inactive spectators in something called "Worship."

What I have seen in my very few years as one who struggles to follow Him is that the building and the music take up most of the energy & resources and it is called "ministry."

I'm reading this book

movie ministry

2006-01-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

(Mike great comments on capitalism comparing women to money - I am intrigued by your presentation and wish we had a few hours to really work around it)

Scott & David:
We talked about doing some form of movies for juvenial in detention. Here is a very interesting site call Movieministry.com So far I like what I see (found it through The Ooze, one of my favorite sites that I found through David's blog)

I'd like to plan on doing something, like going 6 times this year. Showing a different movie each time and then simply having a discussion about it. I like movies and this can give me an excuse to get netflicks and watch a lot of movies while I treadmill.

James

2006-01-20T05:06:00.000-08:00

I would like to begin a study of the book of James. Maybe we can do it online a bit as to include Lup. He is studying for his broker exam & will not have time to seek fellowship with local Christian men. My prayer for him is that as he builds his business, he builds fellowship. Ultimately, I hope that he can join with a group of men and met regularly to discuss the things of God.

My first input:
James does not call himself a "brother" of Christ. Surely, it was well known who was his mother. (Matthew 13:55) James the disciple is already dead by the time this letter is written ; instead he calls himself a "doulos" a servant. This is a bond servant, one who gives himself up to the will of another.

Are we, today, bondservants of Christ? What step TODAY is out of line in my life that is not consistent with this title.

Am I a servant? In which ways today can I serve?

I believe that being followers requires following in the immediate & small. My sin has been to be pragmatic and want the grandeous and the large. What I have seen is that the best of what God has given to me is very small and very intimate.

James 1

1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

rumors of war

2006-01-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

Scott says: Did I mention lately that I wish these people had their own planet? ..one without an atmosphere.

My thoughts:
I wonder how the plains indians felt about American attacks "inside the United States?"

This land is not our own & the Christians who came here for freedom, purchased the land and made the attempt to make treaties with their neighbors. Americans were not given the land by God through divine directive and therefore it is not protected by pithy prayers of "God bless America!"

No, one should listen to the words of Jesus: "there WILL be wars & RUMORS of wars . . ."

Here you have shown me a rumor of war, so what is the problem? Is it unexpected? No. What is its true cause/affect?

In my opinion, Jesus wants us to live THROUGH this world, corrupted and in decay; giving very little REAL attention to rumors or wars. I believe that to follow Jesus is to walk a path where we pay attention to those we can actually help. Most notably those who are IMMEDIATELY around us.

David noticed me and desired to share his passion of the Lord with a passionate man. I needed to be mentored & then desired to teach. You desired to be taught. In sharing brokenness, we were able to give certain gifts to April.

Learning all of this in our illness, is to see that the creation is subject to corruption and decay. The life on this earth is not to be free of sickness, death or war (and those who willingly sin by spreading it); no the ultimate goal of the life, in these dark times, is to be free of worry & anxiety by trusting in Him. It is in ultimately accepting death and therefore NOT fearing it, knowing the resurrection to come. For it is better to die and be with Him.

The followers of Aslan who perished in the twin towers, now walk in Narnia - they are thankful, indeed.

So the question is, "What to do with the time given us" (Gandalf). I suggest it is in the small and the immediate

Just an opinion

heart attack

2006-01-17T08:24:00.000-08:00

Fan recovering from heart attack

Man suffered attack when Steelers' Bettis fumbled

Posted: Tuesday January 17, 2006 10:32AM; Updated: Tuesday January 17, 2006 11:10AM

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PITTSBURGH (AP) -- Talk about a heart-stopping game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Indianapolis Colts.

Terry O'Neill, 50, of Pittsburgh, was watching the game at a bar and had a heart attack seconds after Jerome Bettis fumbled trying to score from the 2-yard line late in the fourth quarter. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger prevented the Colts' Nick Harper from returning the recovered ball for a touchdown and the Steelers hung on for a 21-18 win.

O'Neill said Bettis is his hero.

"I wasn't upset that the Steelers might lose," he told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "I was upset because I didn't want to see him end his career like that. A guy like that deserves better. I guess it was a little too much for me to handle."

O'Neill, who was recovering at a hospital, credits two firefighters with saving him.

"The Steelers won the game and I'm still alive, so I guess I'm doing pretty good," he said.

He will have a pacemaker implanted to control an irregular heartbeat and he was prescribed medication to deal with the hypertension.

While he would like to go to the bar Sunday for the game against the Denver Broncos to thank the guys who saved him, O'Neill said, "I guess I should probably take it easy and watch the game at home."

Munich

2006-01-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

what did you think?

*"We are Jews. We are supposed to be righteous. It is what makes us different."

more fuel...Is God Dead?

2006-01-09T05:32:00.000-08:00

from USAToday:

Is God dead in Europe?

By James P. Gannon1 hour, 26 minutes ago

Two snapshots from a recent tourist trip to Europe: We are in Prague, the lovely and lively capital of the Czech Republic, where the bars and cafes are full, the glitzy crystal and art shops are busy, and the dozens of historic cathedrals and churches are largely empty - except for gawking tourists snapping photos. In The Prague Post, an English-language weekly newspaper, a front-page article reports, in titillating detail, how the city has become Europe's new capital for pornographic filmmaking, while an op-ed examines why only 19% of the people in this once-religious country believe that God exists.

Change the scene to Rome. We are at the Vatican, swimming in a sea of 150,000 people waiting in St. Peter's Square for Pope Benedict XVI to appear at a special celebration for Catholic children who have made their first communion in the past year. Rock bands and kids' choirs entertain the faithful until a roar sweeps through the crowd at the first sighting of the "Popemobile," carrying the waving, white-robed Benedict down barricaded lanes through the throng. The crowd goes wild.

For an American Catholic visitor, Europe is a puzzling and sometimes discouraging place these days. Is God dead here? Many signs suggest that Europeans think so.

Decline in attendance

"Common wisdom has it that alcoholics outnumber practicing Christians and that more Czechs believe in UFOs than believe in God - and common wisdom may be correct," wrote Nate and Leah Seppanen Anderson in a Prague Post commentary; he's a freelance writer, and she's a political science professor at Wheaton College in Illinois and a specialist in Czech politics and society. Surveys show a sharp decline in church attendance and religious practice in most European countries. A series of Eurobarometer surveys since 1970 in five key countries (France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany and Italy) shows that regular church attendance fell from about 40% of the population to about half that figure. Declines were sharpest in predominantly Catholic nations.

Even so, how do we account for the extraordinary outpouring of grief at Pope John Paul II's death in April and the enthusiasm that his successor seems to evoke? Are these mere public spectacles, signifying nothing about Europe's drift from its religious roots, or are they signs of yearning for something more than peace, prosperity and la dolce vita?

As only an occasional visitor to Europe, I claim no expertise in these matters. But some who do see the emergence of a post-Christian era in Europe that has profound consequences for the continent and perhaps is an ominous portend for the United States. Where Europe has gone, America could be going - and that is a prospect that is frightening Christians and sharpening the religious divide in this country.

Western Europe, the cradle of modern Christianity, has become a "post-Christian society" in which the ruling class and cultural leaders are anti-religious or "Christophobic," writes George Weigel, a Catholic columnist and U.S. biographer of Pope John Paul II. In his new book, The Cube and the Cathedral: Europe, America, and Politics Without God, he argues that religious differences help explain the policy tensions between Europe and the United States.

"It would be too simple to say that the reason Americans and Europeans see the world so differently is that the former go to church on Sundays and the latter don't," Weigel writes. "But it would also be a grave mistake to think that the dramatic differences in religious belief and practice in the United States and Europe don't have something important to do with those different perceptions of the world - and the different policies to which those perceptions eventually lead."

A fierce controversy over any mention of Europe's Christian heritage erupted in 2004 when officials were drafting a constitution for the European Union, Weigel notes.

Any mention of the continent's religious past or contributions of Christian culture - in a preface citing the sources of Europe's distinct civilization - would be exclusionary and offensive to non-Christians, many argued. Former French president Valery Giscard d'Estaing, who presided over the process, summed up the dominant view: "Europeans live in a purely secular political system, where religion does not play an important role."

'Demographic suicide'

Among the consequences of Europe's abandonment of its religious roots and the moral code that derives therefrom is a plunge in its birth rates to below the replacement level. Abortion, birth control, acceptance of gay marriage and casual sex are driving the trend. Europe is "committing demographic suicide, systematically depopulating itself," according to Weigel.

United Nations population statistics back him up.

Not a single Western European country has a fertility rate sufficient to replace the current population, which demographers say requires 2.1 children per family. Germany, Russia, Spain, Poland and Italy all have rates of about 1.3 children, according to the U.N. The Czech Republic's is less than 1.2, and even Roman Catholic Ireland is at 1.9 children. (The U.S. rate, which has remained stable, is slightly more than 2 children per woman.)

Fifteen countries, "mostly located in Southern and Eastern Europe, have reached levels of fertility unprecedented in human history," according to the U.N.'s World Population Prospects 2004 revision.

As children grow scarce and longevity increases in Europe, the continent is becoming one vast Leisure World. By 2050, the U.N. projects, more than 40% of the people in Italy will be 60 or older. By mid-century, populations in 25 European nations will be lower than they are now; Russia will lose 31 million people, Italy 7.2 million, Poland 6.6 million and Germany 3.9 million. So Europe is abandoning religion, growing older, shrinking and slowly killing itself. These are signs of a society in eclipse - the Roman Empire writ large. Is this any model for America?

In his 2001 book, The Death of the West, conservative commentator Patrick Buchanan argues that a European-style "de-Christianization of America" is the goal of many liberals - and they are succeeding.

Court decisions that have banned school-sponsored prayer, removed many Nativity scenes from public squares, and legalized gay marriage are part of that pattern, as is the legal effort to erase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency and "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance.

Europe is showing us where this path leads. It is not the right path for America.

time to read, anyone?

2006-01-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

I have been working six days per week for Pete, it has been great for my in so many ways. Hard physical labor, with independence and responsibility, learning something new - I come home dead tired only to shower, eat, sleep and do it again.

So with that in mind, I do not have the time to read all the great posts & they are very good. But I get them emailed to me so I can see when they are posted and have them in my inbox to read. Gmail owns blogger, so when they are posted the email is immediate.

Scott, I was waiting for David's comments on "you care about history & what the church fathers think" That is an excellent comment & a compliment. If Jesus is God in flesh and if his short ministry is the focal point of earthly history (all 4.5 billion years of it), then the 2,000 years that followed would be full of things written about him - surprise, surprise: they are!

So in 2,000 years is there an argument, discussion or point of view that has NOT been looked at multiple ways?

What the church today is guilty of is what it inherited AFTER the fathers, that is to be organized and to become involved in the government and not in the people. Rome fell and the church rose - but it took 500 years after the fall of Rome (475AD) for the church to become a state. What happened before that time is more authentic simply out of the fact that it is closer in time. We are further removed and therefore prejudgiced by history.

Keep up the work, I'll try to sort through it all.

jobs

2006-01-05T20:29:00.000-08:00

Susan was offered the job @ the VA Hospital - which is a huge sigh of relief for us & it looks like I may start with Advantage soon (it is the package goods broker that I interviewed with last July). I will start out in a low position, not the one I interviewed for. But at least it is something.

Scott: give this some thought

2006-01-03T16:40:00.000-08:00

I like to read "Our Daily Bread" here is todays devotional:

Someone has said that a committed Christian undergoes three conversions: "First to Christ, then to the church, and then back to the world."

We see an example in Acts 2 and 8. With their baptism, 3,000 people declared their conversion to Christ (2:41). Then they demonstrated their conversion to the church by devoting themselves to the teaching of the apostles and fellowshiping with other believers. "Having favor with all the people" (2:47) suggests they were also helping others. Later, when persecution scattered them, they "went everywhere preaching the word" (8:4). This was their conversion back to the world.

Conversion is first of all a commitment to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. This brings salvation. But once we know Jesus as our Savior, it is only natural to want to join a fellowship of others who share the same faith. "Lone-ranger" Christians—people who don't want to get involved—tend either to slip back into their old ways or become smug and self-righteous.

Although fellowshiping with other believers is vital, there is more to our responsibility. We need to return to the world with compassion, loving deeds, kind words, and warm smiles. It takes only one conversion to be saved but all three to be what God wants us to be. —Herb Vander Lugt

Scott, when I read this I immediately thought of the last exchange between you & David on the "X" - maybe this devotional is more in line with where David is; then again, maybe not. But one thing is certain - God desires that all men come to the saving knowledge of his son, no matter where they were born or however unfortunate their parents' beliefs.

I was sadden to read what you wrote regarding others - i.e. not caring whether they were saved and I have hesitated to even bring it up, though I have seen you since and have broken bread with you. It just does not fit the friendly loving person that I KNOW you are.

Blessings.

There will be wars & rumors . . .

2005-12-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

I was just about to blog, when I saw all of the activity! Its good to see the discussion continuing. I know I have not posted for a while due to being both tired and depressed. Working for Pete has me exhausted - 8 to 10 hours per day six days per week, non-stop HARD labor.

Today I thought of all the men who were 40 years old and after more than 20 years of demanding labor pleaded with their sons to get an education. Hmm, I'm learning things.

I wanted to blog about going into the inner city last weekend to join with a missional church serving the very poor (by American standards). Serving the poor IS the work of the gospel. But defending them is also.

Remember life is a diamond with infinite facets ~ we must seek to learn and to serve and yes to die. The issue is not killing or death - for these visit every man, the issue is what is death & have you earned the right to tell someone what death truly is.

As for David, he is closer than we are & thinks differently about the issue of death and service - it does not mean that he is wrong; instead he is intelligently designing the path of his finite steps.

Scott, I will join the fray next week when I'm back from hell (my bitch of a mother in laws lair), but until then, I am truly tired & I am putting songs on Ali's brand new iPod.

Its chocolate mousse, I'm tellin ya!

2005-12-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

I guess its been a while since I wrote anything, and there’s probably a good reason for that. I really don’t have much nice to say about the world. Every time I think about something to write, I catch myself writing things that make me sound like a conservative Christian version of Andy Rooney. So, I figured I’d spare you good folks my occasional tirades. (Sorry PMac, I realize I still email those tirades to your.. but hey, that’s what friends are for.) Frankly, I don’t see much good in the world. I don’t see it on the national level, the local level, the workplace level- you name it.

(Other than that, Merry Christmas gang!)

But seriously, I’m not one of these people that runs around proclaiming we are “in the last days”- because we don’t know that. (I’ll leave that kinda unsubstantiated talk to the likes of Jack and Rexella Van Impe.) But I do think we are living in a world of sh*t and that many people think its merely chocolate. (The postmodern logic: If it looks kinda like chocolate, and we believe its chocolate- then it must be so..)

Its very un-Christian of me to have such a foul opinion of so many other human beings, but I do feel that way. I’m sick of most of them. Examples:

We are surrounded by limp-wristed, weak individuals with no resolve. Look no further than our attitudes about the war. (Never mind the Johnny-Come-Lately Liberals who forget that the Clinton Administration also thought that Hussein had WMA (or was trying to get it). And Oh by the way- he just wasn’t willing to DO anything about it, other than his usual “lets shoot some Tomahawks- that’ll show ‘em!” (A strategy of Billy C’s that was equally ineffective in his attack on the Bin Laden camp in Afghanistan… lest we forget.)

But we do forget.

I’m to the point where I don’t care if Iraq DIDN’T have a WMA program. The truth of the matter is that they were doing everything imagineable to look GUILTY! (How soon we forget that on 9-11, they fired at our aircraft in the no-fly zone shortly after the towers fell. Not to mention defiance of every sort.) Its like this-if you are a cat burglar who’s on parole, you would be wise to avoid running around on top of high-rises with a ski-mask. At that point, if you get shot, its your own damn fault for being stupid- whether or not you were stealing anything or not. Hussein was that cat-burglar.

And do we really think he wasn’t trying to acquire WMA? I mean, really… But in typical American fashion, we broadcasted that invasion for about 7 months before it actually happened, so who the hell knows what can be accomplished, moved, hidden, or sent elsewhere in 7 months.

But the American public has proven themselves to have the resolve of… um…. the French circa 1940. Sorry gang, but I’m gonna call it like I see it. We are surrounded by what I call “Vichy Americans”. A bunch of poorly educated sellouts who can’t see the forest for the trees. I’d hasten to guess what this generation would do if the events of World War II happened today. ( They’d probably say “Why attack Germany when it was Japan that bombed Pearl Harbor? Why attack Japan when we could just try harder to understanding their geopolitical situation better and instead of attack them, understand them?”- you know, that kind of crap. Most of these people forget that 911 happened, or when they do remember it, they think of it as a mere inconvenience. Lord forbid that many of these jokers we live around think of anything beyond the developing plotline of last week’s “Desperate Housewives”.

We are a sad, sad bunch. Our forefathers would be ashamed. The words “American” and “Resolve” simply don’t go together anymore. Instead, we vilify people with resolve as simple-minded zealots. We have built for ourselves a secular “religion” where our aims are the pursuit of personal happiness. Period. Any hindrance of that pursuit is simply inconceivable, and an affront to our way of thinking. Our only resolve is what I call our “resolve of catering to ourselves.” It is the doctrine of “I deserve..”

If a woman is hotter than our wife, some of us feel we are entitled to the other woman- because “we deserve better”. If we feel our jobs don’t pay enough, we can justify taking a little off the top from our employer because “we deserve better.” If some of us join the military and we end up going to a war we don’t agree with, we feel we “deserve” to be excluded. (PS: Cindy Sheehan, your son volunteered…FYI). If kids get into trouble at school, the parents now come and defend them saying that their kid doesn’t “deserve” punishment. If there’s an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy, our people feel they “deserve” the right to an abortion to avoid the life changing effects of a child.

Keep saying it…I deserve…. I deserve….. I deserve.

It’s the American entitlement chant- soon to replace the Pledge of Allegiance in the schools. Get used to it folks.

Then, to top it all off- some butt-plug on the Federal Court- US District Judge John Jones, just set a precedent whereby in public schools it is only legal to teach the kids that they are higher apes. The only problem is that they act like LESSER apes. I guess now at least they have some justification for that behavior. What a great idea that was. (Of course, I’d REALLY love to read Judge Jones’ science credentials to make such a decision. I notice that is absent from the CNN write-up.)

And MEANWHILE, while this is going on, the American public- who has the I.Q. of pond-scum, is up in arms about the rights of potential terrorists to talk on the phone without being eavesdropped on.

Oh…that’s rich.

But, according to these same people, its not a world of sh*t we are currently embracing. Its chocolate mousse.

But it sure is funny to wonder why that chocolate mousse smells so much like cattle fodder.

I guess aroma is relative too.

scientific method

2005-12-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

I am sick of hearing that evolution is science because it can be tested and that intelligent design is not science because it cannot be tested. While playing online today I ran across a small South Jersey newspaper running letters on the "Theory of evolution"

Here is my response:

Intelligent Design is an acceptable alternative idea to the idea that biological life emerged from non-living matter via chaos, accident or random chance. Since no ancient event can be either tested or proven, the cause of the event shall remain an unproveable idea. But we can and do observe life using science everyday.

Here is why I believe that Intelligent Design is an acceptable academic area of study:

Life is exceptionally complex and follows a set of rules (matter follows rules as well, though seemingly less complex). Rules by definition are not random, or chaotic but consistent or "designed." If rules are not designed, they cannot be rules for how would they stay within any framework unless that framework has defined parameters of normal and abnormal.

The idea that life arises from non-life is called abiogenesis or "Spontaneous Generation" and has been disproven by science through testing using the scientific method (the disproving of abiogenesis was a solidifying moment in the acceptance of the scientific method and was accomplished by Louis Pasteur at a Science Fair sponsored by the French Academy of Science in 1859; ironically the same year as the publication of Darwin's "On the Origins...").

Through the use of the scientific method, biogenesis was proven a LAW of biology and is defined as life from life of its kind - this is the only observed and measured origin of life and is therefore accepted by science. It is not a hypothesis, it is a tested fact of science and there has never been one single conflicting observation or measurement.

According to science, life cannot come from non-life through spontaneous generation. Or do you oppose this scientific fact and believe otherwise?

If so, your faith is deeper than mine, for you believe that rocks can come to life and that given enough time a fish can turn into a frog and a frog into a prince. And that sir is a leap of faith that I am unwilling to take.

Instead, I will side with our founding fathers who declared independence based on the self-evident truth that all men are endowed by their Creator.

the hunt

2005-12-01T06:17:00.000-08:00

the job hunt is slow & painful

Worth a read

2005-11-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

While searching for some information, I came across this site, which is definitely worth the read. He says what we already know and hold dear, but he says it well.

The world hates Christianity, because it is exclusive and because it says that ALL humans are corrupt and cannot acheive good apart from God. All of mankind deserves the punishment of sinning against a supernatural creator who has set rules, the only means of salvation is through a Savior. This the world cannot stand, it makes them think too much and it appears to restrict their freedom and happiness. But alas, no man is happy unless he knows the Lord and it is the Lord who sets you free indeed.

A Puritans Mind, McMahon

http://www.apuritansmind.com/GordonClark/McMahonSummaryPhilosophyChristianEducation.htm

Megasaurus

2005-11-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

By Joyce Kelly and Michael ConlonTue Nov 22, 8:26 AM ET

On a recent Sunday at Willow Creek Community Church, a Christian rock band joined by dancing children powered up in the cavernous main hall, their images ablaze on several gigantic screens.

Thousands of worshipers from the main floor to the balcony and mezzanine levels were on their feet rocking to a powerful sound system. Outside cars filled a parking lot fit for a

shopping mall. Inside some people drifted into small Bible study groups or a bookstore and Internet cafe for lattes, cappuccinos and seats by a fireplace.

This church near Chicago and others like it number their congregations in the thousands on any given Sunday in stadium-size sanctuaries; but in the end a major appeal of America's megachurches may be the chance to get small.

Institutions like California's Saddleback Church, Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois and Houston's Lakewood Church, each drawing 20,000 or more on a weekend, offer not just a vast, shared attraction but a path that tries to link individuals on a faith-sustaining one-to-one level beyond the crowd, observers and worshipers said.

Rick Warren, founder of California's Saddleback Church and author of the best-selling book "The Purpose-Driven Life," told a seminar held earlier this year by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life that about 20 churches in America have more than 10,000 in weekend attendance.

"These churches can do a ton of things that smaller churches can't," said Nancy Ammerman, professor of the sociology of religion at the Boston University School of Theology.

"They have the resources to produce a professional-quality production every weekend, with music (often specially composed for the occasion and backed by a professional ensemble) and video and lighting and computer graphics and a preacher who knows how to work a crowd," she said.

But they also support "dozens or even hundreds of specialized opportunities for people to get involved in doing things with a small group of others. If you want someone to talk to who really understands what it is like to parent an autistic child, you may find a whole support group in a megachurch," she added.

MORE CHOICE

"Or if you really love stock car racing, but hate being surrounded by drunken rowdies, you can go with a busload of your church friends. I wouldn't say that there are fewer rules in most of these churches. Most of them really expect people to get involved in ways that can have a profound impact on their lives. It's just that there are so many paths into involvement that a smaller church just can't match," Ammerman said.

That's part of what Richard and Nancy Sauser of Schaumburg, Ill., said they found at Willow Creek where they have been members for more than 10 years. They attend regularly with their daughters, ages 5 and 7. The 30-year-old church draws 20,000 weekend worshipers.

"Anything they put their minds to, they can pretty much do," he said, marveling at the power inherent in size. But he added, "Willow Creek has the resources to effectively execute on multiple facets of church life," through more than 100 different ministries.

Sauser said he does not attend Willow Creek for its size but for the teaching and the ministry.

When the thousands at Willow Creek break into smaller groups for Bible study, the men's ministry, the special needs ministry and the adult ministry, a lot of life change occurs. "In the small groups, that is where it really gets good," Sauser said.

When the crowds head for Willow Creek's parking lot, attendants in orange vests direct processions of cars into smoothly paved parking lots ahead of the 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. services. Inside, the throng moves through the hallways and up and down escalators and stairs, welcomed by smiling greeters.

Some drop off children at Sunday school.

On the first floor Danielle Jackola of Hoffman Estates, Illinois, a mother of two who recently moved to the area from California, has come in search of a church. After listening to dynamic lead pastor Gene Appel speak on family and passing the baton of faith from one generation to the next, she liked the message -- and the entertainment.

"I had never been to something like that. I think that is one of the ways of getting your numbers up ... to get the message across but to keep it fun and upbeat. And more contemporary to get more young families involved," she said a few days later -- after deciding to join the church.

SEARCH FOR MEANING

Scott Thuma, a sociologist of religion at Hartford Seminary in Connecticut, said his research indicates there are at least 1,200 U.S. Protestant churches which claim more than 2,000 weekly attendees.

Megachurches are addressing the needs of Americans who are disinterested in "traditional church" yet want to deepen a sense of meaning in their lives. Classes and volunteer ministry opportunities lead to a deeper commitment, he said.

"They have opened worship to the seeker and the unsaved rather than reserving Sunday worship for the saved and sanctified," Thuma added.

The three largest churches are Saddleback, Willow Creek and Houston's Lakewood. But Warren said the world has far larger churches, pointing to mammoth Christian congregations in Nigeria, South Korea and elsewhere.

Warren said U.S. Protestants have returned to the 19th century roots of the evangelical movement, emphasizing social issues such as caring for the sick, the poor and the powerless, and not just concentrating on personal salvation.

"The small group structure is the structure of renewal in every facet of Christianity, including Catholicism," Warren told the Pew forum. He said his church has 9,200 lay ministers leading more than 200 different ministries all over southern California with 2,600 small groups in 83 cities.

every little thing

2005-11-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

the issues are these:
1). Can God plan and use natural disasters as punishment?
2). Does God plan and use natural disasters as punishment?

#1 - obviously is yes and there is the Scriptural support for this point.

#2 - yes again, but my earlier point was that I do not believe that God does so as much as we may think and even if he does, it is not our place to speak for God. When the good Reverand from Virginia Beach (with the campus, college, studio, hotel and entertainment complex that is a mega-wealthy) warns of natural disasters following a school board election, I think he is going too far. Why an earthquake? Why not increased heart disease or cancer or someother ailment striking the town. (Remember that God uses plagues and leprosy as punishment).

I seem to recall that when God does use direct punishment in Scripture, he also uses some form of direct communication with the soon to be punished. This is often in the form of a prophet or a supernatural visit of somekind. Remember how Job's friends were corrected by the Lord for their presuming that Job's afflictions were punishment.

Here is my final point, death and sickness comes to us all. For the wages of sin is death and all have sinned. Pat too will die as punishment for his own sin and his own sinful nature. What do we say of devote missionaries who die in earthquakes? That God did not love them, too? No, natural disasters and dangerous weather along with disease are all part of the fallen world.

Anything in nature can be specifically used by God but he is patient, long-suffering with lovingkindness. But he speaks slowly and rarely. We understand so little that he gave us just a few things to comprehend and digest.

With all of Pat's influence, power and wealth, I would recommend that his empire fund true scientific research into Intelligent Design and allow the science to speak for itself, otherwise he may be doing the battle against evolution more harm than good.

We should be careful to

I've seen fire & I've seen rain

2005-11-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

Mike sent an interesting article from our beloved friend, Pat-Iwannamakeyoulooklikeanidiot-Robertson:

Pat warn's of evolutionary disaster

The one thing that he should take a close look at is that natural disasters are not purposed and planned by God as specific acts of revenge or judgment. They are truly the after-effects of two things: 1) the curse that resulted from the fall & 2) the after-effects of the flood.

All of our weather is still a part of the weather system set in motion 4,500 years ago. Tornadoes and Hurricanes are extremely small ripples of a system seeking balance. The event that set it into place dumped over one mile of sediment on Pittsburgh, so when you look at the next hurricane, check to see how much sediment is left behind - lets see, Tsunami last year, less than 1/32 of an inch in the places where they could FIND sediment. Hurrican Katrina? none. Oh there is dirt and debris in Nwe Orleans, but they were already there as silt, Katrina only moved it, it did not bring any more.

Pat is amazingly stupid with such poor timing (oh I should talk, I know), but look at this piece of beauty on the same website regarding Goliath:

Scientist find 'Goliath' carved on pottery

Maybe if Pat would shut his mouth he would see that bible speaks for itself and does not need any help from him.

in treatment

2005-11-09T07:27:00.000-08:00

i have been blessed with our health system & have been recving intensive physical and physcological attention

i am focusing on being reflective & quiet. learning to listen to all that has happened and digest it; learning to think differently

susan has been angry and is calming, she is a devoted mother and our #1 priority is our daughter, so i am still at home, though that was touch and go for a while.

i have been mostly sad and disappointed in myself, trying to learn about mental illness; the problem is that one who biology does interferes with his thinking does not know that he is not thinking correctly.

a bad day & blog spammers

2005-10-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

i had a bad day yesterday. my employment was terminated - third time this year. i'm having a bad day today. i've got to get over it because i have a telephone interview with Verizon Wireless tomorrow morning.

you can only imagine how things are at home

blog spammers are stupid, do they actually think that people will go to their site & engage in commerce with them. the law of large numbers.

a year of x-communicating

2005-10-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

this blog has lasted a year & the reasons it changed from my last one are still fresh scars.

i just finished two weeks of training that sandwiched a weekend trip to Philly that was less than relaxing. i'm tired.

on to the ladder . . .

honest work & great benefits

2005-10-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

i have never been such a good employee as with the new job & no it is not the "honeymoon" period, it is for real. i work for a large Fortune 50 company, yet in a very intimate setting & am enjoying it. the employee benefits are unbelievably good & so momma is happy.

for some reason, they all think that i am smarter & more experienced than i am; well maybe because i am twice the age of the people i manage. ouch - i find myself saying stupid things like, "when i was your age."

Wade has not been doing well - pray for him, the siezures still come. though he does recognize them - progress is being made. but the indestructable man i met a year ago no longer exists, yet the one God has replaced him with is someone special. i can say it again how blessed i was to find such a friend.

i get to talk with my pals & do some great guy things. Wade & I discuss our children and our gardens & grapple over the Scriptures. I love to go to Scott's house & watch football - he even has a pool table & beer fridge. truly it is a great football experience (yet, he needs to understand that football is excellent napping time). having mostly watched football by myself for the last few years after teaching Sunday School, I crash around half time.

i really get into my teaching & pour so much into it that i am tired when finished & i mean tired. david knows what i am talking about - it is the pouring/pooring out of oneself into another.

david did it to me, he literally found me so empty that he poured into me. i was so hungry for the Word that i could not get enough

unemployment has been great for me, i have learned to rely on God & to BE with him; it was hard at times, but i have left it stronger than i went in and with such a better job on the other side that i am all smiles.

thank you Lord for giving me the things i need, like the sun and the rain and the apple seed, the Lord is good to me.

update on Wade

2005-09-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

I spent a few hours with Wade on this glorious afternoon. We walked around his house and looked at his raspberries (golden, very interesting).

He has lost weight & being already skinny this does not look good. But he has had a very good weak. We went to work, met with clients and his doctor is telling him that they should take some time & just see how it goes.

I was returning his Mantis tiller that I had borrowed. I now have newly planted grass in an area that I had scorched with weed killer & a tilled garden bed for the Spring.

The one thing that I wanted to do during this unemployment was to start my gardening. I have not gotten to it in the last five years. So I made it a priority & it was deeply satisfying. The exact moment that I had finished my cell phone rang with a job offer from Sprint. I start Thursday.

The house is looking good and we get many compliments. I spent most of the day gardening, weeding, cleaning with Susan. We sat on the steps in front with cold beers as many came by, waved and told us what a great job we were doing and how nice it looks.

"Ditcha Witcha" Mr Floro himself was strollling his grandson down to see Buddy. In his broken English, he said smiling, "You are doing a wonderful job on this house."

friends of Wade

2005-09-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

Dear friends of Wade Redcross:

Thank you for finding this blog and for posting notes to him. Wade and I talk almost daily & I forward him your messages immediately.

It amazes me that you have found him through me, Praise God.

I am not sure if I can say he is doing well, physically. The drugs are a burden and the future treatments are going to be harsh and dangerous. But I can say this, he is growing emotionally and spiritually. He has never been closer to his family, both his parents and his wife and children.

This has allowed him time to re-examine so many areas & he has shared with me his thoughts of how he is being taught by God.

That I am going through a trial of a different nature (unemployment; but a trial none the less) has made us both very open and honest with each other.

He is truly a great friend & I am blessed to have him in my life at this time.

The Amazing Web

2005-09-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

We are all interconnected & the last few days have really shown me how. Over the past year, I have become close friends with Wade. We met as he held a discussion group in a local hotel to discuss matters of faith.

I was looking for something new & was praying for a friend in town. I have great friends, but since leaving my "church" I was feeling lonely in Sewickley. Wade has more than filled that void.

He has suffered these last two months & amazingly two of his friends have found this blog and have reached out to contact him. We talked about it for a long time yesterday and could clearly see the hand of God, as we both changed into the shape that our Creator intends for us.

Marc & Don, Wade would love to talk with you.

A good day to die

2005-09-02T06:00:00.001-07:00

I live to the fullest, I am honest, I am brave and I will willingly fight & die for what is right. For I know that this earthly life is not the end and that somehow we are eternal and that our deeds are measured by their honesty, not by their outcomes. I know that evil exists and that it must be fought, yet we must not use extreme discretion in fighting. There is so much good in what we hold dear as American citizens such as freedom. I, for one, completely support Cindy Sheehan's rights and I would willingly defend them. I would also remind her that her son was a volunteer who through his on volition proclaimed his willingness to defend the rights of others, as was I. In an imperfect world there is no room for perfection. While we are cursed with error and mistakes we can execute them with honor and honesty.

Random thoughts for the morning:

The circumstances of human relationships change. We must learn from the fighting in Iraq that it is time for the US to stop being everything to everyone, due to our own hungers and egos - our desire to be seen as something other than are true selves. We are the rich uncle who has overspent his wealth buying gifts on credit. We can no longer afford to ease the pain of so many; we never did ease the pain of all.

It is also time that we stop using our flag & our eagle as idols. Democracy is NOT the answer to the world's ills. It is only intended to help an enlightened and educated people work among each other. When an uninformed electorate has the power of election, they will vote with their bellies (Aristole); therefore a Republic is better than majority rule and a dictatorship is not always evil.

Honor is your reputation, your good name; Honesty is your good name in deeds, in action - they are rooted in the same word.

Sour grapes; it is a good thing to purge, to the poison get out of the system. It is not a good thing to live by the effects of what has gone wrong, live to the fullest for today is good day to die.

let the indoctrination begin

2005-08-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

today was my daughter's first day in a public school. the teacher in science asked if anyone knew how the dinosaurs dies off. oh my, first day.

i'm 0-4 in the jobs for which i interviewed.

updates

2005-08-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

i have not blogged much lately & have been lazy in other areas as well.

with nowhere to go most mornings, i am finding myself sleeping in and not doing much until the afternoon. two things i want to do: exercise more and paint the house. truly i desire to get to these things but am becoming lazy.

i have no interviews scheduled, but wednesday's with AIReS went pretty well. the manager and i both went to the same high school. he was a sophomore when i was a senior and he recognized my name. he gave me a few standard questions, the first being the standard "why do you want to work here?"

i put aside all pretext and politically correct responses and simply said: "i have a family, i need a job."

luppe is in town for the weekend.
wade is back in the hospital, AGH. i went in last night to spend sometime with him. the doctor's now understand his condition and that is a HUGE step.

i think i will go excercise

divine providence

2005-08-15T05:54:00.000-07:00

wade has had some more problems, pray for him. in talking yesterday, he had to face certain realities of his illness. Yet, I heard a very positive note in his voice. He has structured his business so that clients come to see him in the office, which was once very rare for someone who handle personal insurances (he is a specialist in long term care insurance, helping families face the realities of an aging loved one). In addition, he even charges for his time, further stabilizing his business and setting him apart as a true professional (trust me there are too many amatuers in the business of personal insurance).

But Wade is humble and after our talk, he called me back to ensure that I was not insulted by his good fortune and success. He did not want to appear to be bragging. It is one of the many things that I love about Wade. It made me laugh, for it was truly the last thing from my mind.

For my regular cohort I wish this: that you all make a LOT of money & that you use it for the purposes that God would have you. I wish that Logos becomes an amazing success of a B&M storefront in an online world; that the people of Beaver value the resource of a devote Christian family who knows music and has read most of the books in the store and loving welcomes all followers of the Way, no matter the name of their worship group or style.

Luppe is graduating from college in December. I am like a proud parent. He has been my very good friend for many years and I have seen him through several colleges, a marriage and a move. In my eyes, they were all successful steps in life for he did them in prayer and thanksgiving. In 2003, he wanted to prepare to move for his wife was looking for a better job & wanted to be in the Carolinas. We threw ourselves into completing his basement and adding a few features like a bank of outlets & overhead lighting above the workbench in the garage. Susan wanted me to be there and I would not have missed it for the world, he had stood by me in a time of trial and when returning the favor, I did it with enthusiasm - smiling the entire time.

When he worked on my house with me, we had a standard lunch on weekends and usually consumed one too many. But I would never have gotten done what a I needed to do without him. He will be in town Friday afternoon, I'll be there to pick him up.

Luppe called to say that he would be talking with a former business associate of mine about the possibility of employment; my relationship had failed with the man, when I was severly depressed but I had introduced Lup who worked as an intern. I completely and thoroughly support him and wish him the best ~ how could I not?

In Numbers 11:28, a young man tells Moses that other men have the Spirit of God on them and are prophesying; Joshua tells Moses to make them stop (impetous and loyal, I like Joshua a great deal, I think we are supposed to like Joshua for many reasons). Moses tells him to hold his horses. He is not jealous but just the opposite - he WANTS other men to be with the Spirit of God. Later God gives himself to Joshua as he did with Moses - oh if we could only have that!! (Hey, we can through the next Joshua)

Moses sounds like an evangelist, he wants more people to be with the Lord and in the same way, I want my friends to have their hearts desire.

Wade is the greatest, you would all love him. Having both left our "churches" with buildings and paid professional staff, we met as he started a bible discussion group. I had been praying for a friend. One with a daughter in middle school, one who knew the bible, God sent Wade, heck he is even from Philadelphia - so what's not to love? His marketing of a bible study attracted me & so the Lord used the circumstances of his desire to answer my prayer - how could I not want what Wade wants for himself and his family?

I had some serious down time fighting through what is normal in the struggle to find work - David knows it and heard it and asked me about it; I hide nothing from David. I trust him in everything, same with Mike, Scott & Wade, even Dugan - who I want to dig information out of daily but restrain myself. How many men can say that they have five friends that they trust like the fingers on their hands?

I began to have regrets & replayed the days of my life looking for key decisions; in each decision that appears to the world to be a failure there is a success for the kingdom of God that is overwhelming & yet, I mentally reject this manna and want meat.

The Lord had been badgering me with Christian men as witnesses in the Navy. At my final position, I had a young man assigned to me. I hated him, but he won me over. His parents planted a seed of doubt on my worldview so deep that when I met David it was the springtime of my faith. I did not get the first job I wanted out of the Navy & took another. Getting a headstart I jumped into the Chamber of Commerce, just to meet people. I met David - the rest is history. He invested in me, he reaps the dividend as I invest in others.

I went broke as an entreprenuer & was depressed, David's physican asked to see me for he believed it was not normal depression - it wasn't. With all the strength that it took, David asked to see me. He does not hide his intentions well & when he asked I obeyed. Trust. A willingness to listen, a willingness to follow. It has lead to a diagnosis and the beginning treatment that has changed my life; it is one of the best things that ever happened to me. Without my failure, I would not have succeeded - how is that possible without providence?

I had to humble myself and grit my teeth and take a job. For a long time I wondered why I was being punished by God. But Scott does not look at it that way at all. My punishment was to answer his questions and be the vehicle the Spirit used for his conversion.

Now in my interviews, people want to know what I did there. Ha, lets see: struggled with phase II of my treatment, but Susan got involved and helped take control leading me to the appropriate doctors, where phase III began & I then eventually stablizied. The Spirit convicted Scott and all that stuff I studied under a severe case of mania was used to combat the lies of Satan. (I knew long before Scott did that he would believe, it is the gift that the Lord gives you to keep up the pretenses of a "fight" about faith).

David was right there coaching me, helping me help Scott. For years, David asked me WHY do I care about Genesis, why do I care about geology, physics and biology. It spoke to me, it shows me the glory of God and his attributes and now I can say, the Lord cared for Scott THROUGH my study.

I have taught thousands of people and have just been invited into another group; somehow having lost the mania, I have lost the passion for the knowledge of Genesis that the Lord used my mania to gain. But I am a better teacher and there are many hungry people. Teaching YWAM is the joy of my ministry - they are true warriors and I am just at the boot camp.

I have to laugh, I was reading hours per day - yes, hours. Ask Luppe, I was reading books of the bible, PER DAY. I was going insane and bankrupt. But I did not forget what I learned and now I have a powerful ally indeed and a Sword that is sharp. But most importantly, the patience to use it.

What next? I will toast your successes my friends and pray for my own. When asked why do I want a job how is this for an answer:

Well, I want my wife to have a husband with a stable income with a pension and health care. A husband who does not read and study five hours a day and sleep 3 or 4. Having been humilitated, I will be humble. I am capable and confident and I know that if the Lord is pleased someone else will come along with questions - they always do! And I will wait on the Lord.

hard work finding a job

2005-08-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

its a tough marketplace trying to find a job. my first interview this week did not go so well & when i saw the job posted on both monster & hotjobs again, i KNEW it did not go so well. they called to say that they were seeking other candidates.

the FedEx interview went well & i was pleased to see how they have grown into a major shipping and freight company - plenty of room to expand and lots of opportunity. i am hopeful. monday i have to take a "behavioral interview" which means a psyche test. hopefully they will not find anything negative

vacation is tiring

2005-08-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

i need a rest from my vacation. though there was much to enjoy, the nagging thought of not having a job distracted me.

the adironacks are beautiful & inspire one to think about God, who gives so many good things. travelling through such a pristine natural setting brought my thoughts to the Lord & his awesome power to build something so complex, the wildlife, the trees and plants, so many insects.

our family vacation is a communal gathering of some of my wife's siblings and new this year, two cousins. we had to learn how to work a few things out with the cousins, but the siblings have it basicly down to a routine ~ which troubled some because who wants a vacation to be a routine?

i noticed several things:
1. David always says that with children love is spelled "T-I-M-E," so true. For much of the vacation, I watched as my only child spent a ton of time with her cousins, deeply bonding with them. There is another girl, younger than mine but they are as close as sisters and love each other. It is such a good thing to watch, I can see them as adults with their own children. From the bedroom next dorr, I listened to these two pre-teen girls chat and giggle late into the night, only once asking them to "be quiet and go to sleep" and I regretted that one. Instead, I was reading or in a prayerful contemplation as their voices trailed off into much earned sleep.

I could her their mothers sitting on the porch outside the window talking. With my in-laws, even the brothers and sisters, I try my best to swim around them and allow my wife to drink deeply of her time with them.

Susan and I also spent time playing games with the kids. You really get to know a child by how they play a game with rules. How they handle defeat and how they handle victory, even if it is handed to them. My nephew turned 15 and can beat me in several games, I no longer have to let him win in anything. He enjoys the challenge of taking his uncles on, he is a great kid and one that I can say I am very fond of.

2. Among adults love can be spelled "S-E-R-V-I-C-E." Things just seem to go so much better when you love one another by simply doing as much as you can for them. We the "core" group have a habit of doing as much as we can for each other & it flows so well, it was love. It is what the Lord wants people to be like.

gone to the woods

2005-07-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

tomorrow at "Zero Dark-thirty" Sue & I are headed to upstate NY to commune with three of her siblings & two cousins (this is the first year with the cousins) on a lake in the Adironacks. Ali has been with Sue's folks in NY and are visiting her brother in New Hampshire, just outside of Boston. He will be bringing two silly giggly girls (11 & 9) with him while his parents house/dog sit.

A week of hiking, canoing, eating, talking & reading. I've got my books prepared: Stephen Ambrose's "Undaunted Courage" the biography of Merriweather Lewis & his relationship to Th. Jefferson. Excellent & fascinating - if you have not yet read it (I already got started) do so right away. With the fantastic libraries available there is no reason why we are not all well read.

I am of course blessed with Sewickley library just around the corner, I don't even have to cross the street to walk there. I am hoping to stay unemployed through the end of August & get massive house-painting & reading accomplished.

I wonder what book of the Bible I should read - this year has been a focus first on Corinth, then back to the Gospel of John & lately the Pentatuech. I am feeling a multi-year indepth study of Corinth since it is the place most like the US.

There are several great possibilities for jobs & I have an interview on Monday August 8th with VertMarkets as a sales rep. They also have an opening for a corporate trainer. Earlier in the week, I had a pre-screening employment testing. Intelligence & psychological; I obviously passed. I had to take the tests at one of those admin/clerical temp agencies in Wexford. The intel test was 50 questions in 12 minutes & very tricksy. There was almost no way to read it carefully, find the stuble hidden trick and get the right answer - so I relied on my years of test taking skills and made a mad rush to get through.

I completed 47 out of 50 & the woman administering the test was shocked to see how far I had gotten. She said: "I've never seen anyone get that far before. I almost want to let you finish the last three just to see how well you did." I told her a little about the test & that there were three that I missed, two vocabulary that I did not know & three simple problems that I did not find the trick, so i moved on to the math problems - giving me a possible 8 wrong. At my requested, she graded it in front of me.

I felt fairly confident (I always feel fairly confident). There are two ways to score those tests:

1. Raw. Percentage correct out of the total
2. Weighted. On a scale of all who take the test, how many did you get compared to the others.

This one was over the top. There almost no way to score a 50 ~ remember I teach test taking and was scrubbing my arithmetic & algebra that morning (vocabulary I do not practice). I think I scored a raw 36. They were looking for a 27 to make the cut. The woman smiled a deep and satisfying smile ~ I was human after all & did not score a raw 90%. I am sure I scored a weighted 95+ relative percentile.

If only I could make a living taking tests!

Lather, rinse, repeat.

2005-07-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

I haven’t written anything in a while. I guess its because I just don’t have much to write until now. Work has been hectic, which is a good thing. The summer my employers had was phenomenal (and they needed to have it too.. or else…) But I come home on weekdays pretty drained. I’ve also been 50/50 on church attendance on Sundays over the past 2 months. Part is my own laziness, the other part is the sheer heat this summer (and how it affects a giant un-air conditioned building). I feel out of touch with my church… and I feel that mostly everyone in my church is out of touch with reality. I don’t know if I have the right to say that- but screw it- I’m saying it. I am having problems going to a church who’s main focus is the maintenance of elderly members, as well as their burial services. My wife feels the same.

All that said, I feel indebted to this church because of what they did for me last year for my wedding. So Sundays are uncomfortable for me. If I don’t go, I feel guilty. If I do go, I get frustrated by those around me who do everything they can to make the church merely a “senior citizens” gathering, and feel no need to try to gain new members. (If we get ‘em, its by sheer accident, not because of focused outreach.)

I joined the evangelism committee last September to try to help fix this problem, along with my wife. That soon became a study in futility. My church session only wants to do the same things it did before- maintenance for elderly members, especially focusing on the female ones. (You'd think that they'd realize that "doing the same thing" will yield "merely the same thing".. but they seem fine with that. Here's an example- for the men, there’s a 10:00 am Bible study on a FRIDAY, and for the women, there’s a late afternoon knitting class once a week. Is it any DAMN wonder why there’s so few men under the age of 50 at my church... or women, for that matter.

I’ve suggested other outreaches, specifically to men of working age- and they are fine with that- as long as the person suggesting it (i.e. me) does everything necessary to carry it out. (The church won’t really “help” but they will “authorize” it.) So much for a group effort. It would be me and my pastor trying to convince young people that our church is a good place to be.

So, in short, it becomes “lying with a straight face.” I can’t in good conscience try to convince young people to come to what really is “churched” senior-citizen social-hour (but with a good sermon.) My frustration is becoming more apparent to those at my church- mostly because of my own mouth. We had a door-to-door outreach/VBS info hand-out in town (one of the things the session approved) where everyone was asked to help. We basically had myself, my wife, our pastor, one session member, and one elder show up to help. Out of all of our elders and church officers, we had only one representative from each. I made a comment that it was disappointing esp. since the session members/elders are capable of great turnouts for dartball. The one session member that was there said “Well Scott, we can’t MAKE them help.” I said “No, you are right, but maybe some of them should re-think their position as church officers if this is how its gonna be.” Everyone stared at me blankly.

Another issue came up where an older couple has been keeping its small group active and meeting. (It was their group they formed when my church was doing the 40 days of purpose thing…) Well, these two people (husband and wife) are reading other Christian books with their old group and keeping it going. Well, one session member is constantly reminding people that the session “never approved such a thing.”

I finally got pissed off enough to tell the person that if these people are doing it without session’s approval, “it will probably be done in a timely manner and carried out with a high degree of success instead of non-stop deliberation.”

I’m sure that went over well.

In one year, I found out that I’m not a good Presbyterian at all.

So that’s where I’m at. I’m disappointed with “the building.” I’m sure none of you are surprised. Still, part of me feels guilty, because I’m supposed to go on Sunday to worship God- regardless of how mind-numbingly out-of-touch those in the same building are. They are flawed sinners, just like me. So I feel this way, but I don’t really have a right to feel this way. Yet I feel more in-tune with God sitting at home on Sundays and reading the Bible, C.S. Lewis, Lee Stroebel, Judah Etinger, and Richard Foster. I just know that you guys (at least Phil and David) have probably felt what I’m feeling regarding the church. I don't think church has to be entertaining... but does it have to be such a study in headache-inducing blandness, ceremony, and monotony? (Praise song, praise song, hymn, blessing on assembly, children's time, sermon, offering, hymn, closing...lather, rinse, repeat...)

Meanwhile, the rest of you have problems WAY more serious than mine. Wade, David, Phil- I pray for you guys...

....and Dugan and the Lupster too.

wade

2005-07-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

i just saw wade redcross. he looks great & has a sparkle in his eye that can only come from a man who has tasted his own mortality and lived to react. he cannot drive for 6 months & his wife is now his chauffeur, driving him to work. i pray that they grow closer through the experience.

i asked her how she felt about the "inconvenience" of having to drive him around. she said that after seeing him suffer a seizure and go into the hospital that she is more than willing to help.

talking with them put a smile on my face & made me remember what i was like after coming home from combat. i was smiling and living large. i'm smiling now.

i have applied to several jobs and am very optomistic that something will come along shortly.

myths of ancient beasts

2005-07-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

in sunday's PG there was a review of Fossil Legends of the First Americans by Adrienne Mayor, her early work is The First Fossil Hunters She writes of the ancients digging for fossil bones and then creating the IDEA of mythological beasts that match the fossils of now extinct animals.

It will be an area of study for me in the future & one for which I will prepare a CSF lecture.

I wonder if it ever occured to anyone that mythological animals are simply extinct animals? hmmm.

wade has a tumor

2005-07-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

My good friend, Wade called Thursday night to tell me that he suffered a seizure and was in AGH. Tests show that he has a brain tumor. But we do not yet know if it is cancer.

Here he is last Oct. praying on a Saturday morning that it would not rain so that I could paint using the rented scaffold. He is afraid of heights.

Together we were able to get at least one coat of paint on the house. Truly, he helped me to bear a burden. Pray for him & his family.

the less than holi threesome

2005-07-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

this is for Lup:

last night scott & david & me-self got some wings 'n at, over at Buffala Wings in North Fayette. Love the place, it is definitely a football watching kind of place. good call Scott. Here is scott's take on the night:

Hey guys, thanks for yesterday. It was a big help, plus it was a
really good time. We should do that often.

My boat was kinda "drifting" so the course correction (or course
realization) was welcomed. I look forward to the reading.

My thing has always been some kind of men's ministry, or at least
that's been my leaning. That's where I think this is heading. Aside
from the Genesis/true science angle that Phil does so well, I was
equally shocked that here's a navy bomber pilot and a "real man" who
isn't what I then called "a typical Christian male wuss." And David,
you are the same as Phil in demeanor. That was kinda shocking to me
back then. I'd say about 90% of the Christian men I had known from my
town and when I was in college at Edinboro were emasculated, "Jesus is
a kind man" types- many of whom were run by their girlfriends (in
college) or wives (if we are counting many of the Christian men in my
town.)

So- I think I'll also need to read and research Eldridge's "Wild at
Heart", Dobson's "Bringing up Boys", and "Why Men Don't Go To Church"
(David, correct me on that title if its wrong.)

Anyway, thanks again. It was great being with both of you.

we had a great conversation about being a man in the church, being a christian man in the family and workplace and how to study. scott, mike and I have had this same conversation 100 times. it is HARD to be manly in evangelical christianity, if you are too strong you are a brute (me and Luppe), if you are too smart or read too much you are a snob (guess who?) learning to be strong, well read and all that leadership requires AND control it IS the issue. It is the issue of maturity.

Jesus says: Blessed are the MEEK - in Greek, the word "prauce" does not mean "wussy" at all. It means "not having self interest" (a Jedi is "selfless" means a Jedi is meek) and is also used to mean "power under control." A draft horse plowing a field under the control of his master is said to be meek. At any moment, the horse could do anything that it wants to and the man could not stop it. Yet, the horse trusts the man. If you have ever handled a horse, especially a powerful one (not a pony at a carnival), they all have one thing in common - they only submit to men with whom they have a relationship.

A horse is said to be "broken" when it is old and wild, then made to take a rider. The best way to "break" a horse is to NOT WAIT. But to put a blanket on a young horse (with some sugar and apples) and nuzzle it and love it. Watch Jonathan do some chores around the house, he is a doer a helper and will not need to be broken later in life for he was gently trained.

Horses, like men, are very interesting, for if the horse loves you and trusts you - it will do anything for you. When in the pasture, it comes to you. When you fall, it says close. Cowboy movies are not far off that "the good guy" usually has a good horse. Silver to the Lone Ranger & Scout to Tonto. Luppe would walk through a wall for Gene & scott has wondered why I take the bit in my mouth around David (occasionally).

Lup & I have a lot in common, we are both strong and went our own ways - yet now we are "doulos" (James 1:1 "willing servant" or "love slave") ; you are becoming the same thing & it is good. [You can learn Greek vocabulary at www.blueletterbible.org]

It is good to submit to another man as a MEANS to submit to submission to Christos.

I love the football idea at the church - go for it

in Him, who knew us first and chose us out of our sin despite ourselves, when we did not deserve anything but his wrath and scorn. he took on wrath and scorn and all who TURN to him and REPENT, he takes to the Father.

Paul tells the Romans, "everyone who confesses outloud that Jesus is Lord and believes deep down inside of himself as proved by his actions WILL be saved" (NIPV ~ new int. phil version)

stumbling along,
pm

i feel empty

2005-07-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

truly i am depleted of energy and run down for the day. i have been making it my habit to keep at working as if i was working all day and then to do chores. writing about yourself and explaining issues, researching jobs is exhausting & then i go and put in some work

so i have been working outside in this heat & sweating, hoping that everything that is wrong in my life can be "sauna'd" out, if you will. i look forward to the next few weeks of painting and making improvement on the house.

i am getting solid leads for open positions, but things are moving slowly.

Henery Hawk

2005-07-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

Okay Scott, its like this. You REALLY are Henery Hawk; no doubt about it, David is Foghorn, I can almost hear him singing, Duu Dah, Duu Dah & everyone would agree that I am highly qualified to be the barnyard dog.

1. Any theology taken to its logical conclusion leads to ________ ? This requires a face to face with the less-than-holy trinity of DR/PM/SH; one that I will most likely watch from the sidelines for it has taken me YEARS to learn this - I hope that you can learn it faster than I can.

2. Who said we were not REFORMED??? We all believe that man is in a TOTAL state of sin and depravity & can only be rescued by grace, through faith. None of us, by our will and actions alone can rationally find God, understand and live an acceptable life. But God is merciful & just; he is patient & terrible; he is angry & loving (slow to anger thankfully); he is more than we can put into a book (even the Bible says this).

3. Do not get hung up on the issues of predestination & election vs. free will and "accepting " Jesus; we know this: Jesus has accepted you and your repentence is real and true. This is a worthy study, but it is a complex incomprehensible mystery. Our point is to learn, articulate and understand both sides of the equation. Through study the ways of the Spirit will flow through you and then in following Him, you may disciple those that the Lord has given you.I do not believe that you can argue someone into faith, the things of God are hidden from those who are not repentent (whose hearts are hard), HOW they become soft is NOT the issue, your ONLY job is to go and "sow the seeds." Your heart was fertile ground the day that I laid down that stupid book, in prayer as a Holy Spirit trap - wondering if anyone notice (yes it was aimed at Charles, notice when the engagement with him stopped. I did not go out heart-broken thinking that his soul was lost, instead I prayed in thanksgiving for the opportunity to be ridiculed for my faith. But know this, he will never forget me (especially because of your conversion) and that might be the seed that grows later. Through you, I have reached many people who would never have listened to me.

Now comes the tough/hard times. Satan will wish that you turn hard in your heart and that the scoffers will say: "It was just a fad, we knew Phil was nuts."

David did not lead me in the "sinner's prayer" nor did I lead you. I simply stood for truth and watched and then aggressively responded out of obedience to my Lord. Yes, I do call David my mentor and I am his student as you are mine - you are a worthy student, we are all praying for you and are already wincing at the pain you are about to have.

singing hymns in jail

2005-07-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

many have asked me how i am doing. deep down in my heart, i have found that all i have to rely upon is the Lord & how good is that?

in acts 16, paul & silas are thrown into prison after being beaten, where they start singing praise. i know that feeling, i "get it." it took almost loosing it all for my heart to be totally centered on the Lord. last sunday, at worship the music was sweeter, the words more meaningful & we even arrived BEFORE the service began so that we could enjoy ALL of the praise music.

i could barely sing, i was so overcome with an emotional response to the truth of the Gospel & the words: "you thought of me above all."

ali was singing hard & susan offered me a greeting in peace (the first time since she recv'd the news); it is a good thing to gather together, let us not abandon it

the hunt

2005-07-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

the job hunt is taking shape; i'll keep you posted.

david & scott have been going back and forth over at David's blog Post Prostestant Thoughts;

i have been watching this for a while & finally chimed in - face to face with scott. he had been hurt by some of my emails & here is my response to a mentor hurting a student:

Scripture says: The wounds of a friend are true - I do love you and would never intend to hurt you; we are in a new stage of our relationship, one where often the student rejects the hard teachings of the mentor. the mentor's words WILL hurt & through that the student will grow. David's words & guidance has hurt me MANY times - I know when it is going to happen and have learned to still my heart, quiet my tongue and LISTEN so that I too may one day be a mentor; which of course has come about.

you have bitten off more than you can chew in trying to "take him on" -- don't bring a knife to a gunfight; in your own admission you have not mastered the basics of the bible so why do you fight in the advanced course (david is talking phd level theology and you want to discuss what is being taught in elementary school). david's challenge is a good one: who else agrees with you? calvin, luther, aquinas, augustine, pelagius, clement, wesley, spurgeon, john paul, mother teresa,chuck colson, ken ham -- WHO? & WHY?

Theology's major points need to be understood so that you can have a frame of reference. too much of modernism/rationalism has been to label the opponent. but my advice is not discard the thoughts of others but to understand the opponent. the mark of a truly wise man is to listen and learn from those with which you disagree.

in the world of science, you must know arithematic in order to learn algebra, then calculus. From these physics can be understood. Newton's observations and measurements ruled for centuries and are still observable, then came Einstein who PROVED Newton wrong ~ yet Newton's formulas still FUNCTION - it is what we are effected by. It took Einstein several years of intense internal thinking to INVENT the math for his theory, his comment: "I want to think God's thoughts." Ahh, I love that one - David wants that too. (read 1 Cor. 1 & 2 ~ there is a place called "the deep thoughts of God" - I can only wonder what they are)

you and david are having a category argument & you are not listening -- you need to do this face to face; not behind the vail of the internet where you can hide your issues. you are accusing him of his brand of christianity being equal with what you rejected. trust me in this, nothing would/could be further from the truth.

david DID NOT reject me over my study of creation; you simply do not understand his motive & I could not explain it to you well. he PUSHED me to explain my ministry/mission & passion. he required that i READ those who have studied the issues and articulate an educated position. he sparked my anger ON PURPOSE in training, so that in the reality of war I would remain calm -- did you see how calm I was with you, it was his training that made me a warrior for truth and a lover of men.

saying that it is not "important" is TRUE - now you have to learn why (as we did at the bar Friday). how does creation help a single mom whose teenage son just beat her up for some money to buy beer? yes, he could have done it better & shame on him, but he was in a different place. creation was/is important to you - but how much so? can you articulate anything beyond what I have taught you? what have you read BESIDES what I have given you? get with it

David & I are two passionate italians have had ups and downs - but mostly ups, my life is richer for my friend & my brother; truly not many men could be as close as he and I are. you cannot look at his method of teaching or his "mclaren" views as a failure -- nothing could be further from the truth

for it was DAVID's hand & words guiding me in your conversion.Yes, I fought the battle as I do every day - but with you he was the general; he was WITH me every step of the way & my friendship with you was VERY mclaren (frienship with a porno king?)

mclaren's primary position is that "traditional boring presbyterian idiot run churches" (like yours) were tired and not serving in the kingdom building role any longer. so the sane position is to re-examine it. does that mean that they go too far in some areas? of course - that is the human condition. and in going too far to the liberal, did your church not ALLOW you to be married in the stupid "building" despite the rules? hmmm. how did that happen? could it have happened if I was only a right-wing conservative evangelical, or did I have a heart for a girl whose heart was so broken that we may never find the pieces. think deeply about this. David did not orchestrate the wedding, but without his mentoring, I would never have taken the step.

your conversion happened due to an external ministry; not a so-called church (same with Luppe, same with me) -- reflect on our relationship and then replace the teacher NEO with david & the pastor DAN with me and the outcome is you; it was outside the walls of organized evangelical christianity & you were REJECTED by them --- none of them offered to buy you a beer and sit down as a man and be real, even if it meant saying fuck a few times

funny thing, that that stupid church in B-town was liberal enough to love you and April and bend some rules in order for April to be a bride in a church building, amazing - I learned something that day & again it was DAVID helping behind the scenes, loving a woman who he had never met -- do you get it???? there was still some good there - there was GRACE there, there was that old woman who prayed for you and wept at your conversion and looked at me as if I was a Jedi Master. it felt good to be appreciated, those are the small rewards on earth that are HUGE in the kingdom

so where do we go next. begin at the beginning, it is a very good place to start. understand the major issues of theology & church history -- then try your hand at some ministry work; scheduled organized and purposeful (yes Rick Warren is no theologian - but he gets people off their asses and out of the pews). feed the poor, teach a class, evangelize the neighborhood. David, Luppe & I have all done many organized ministries (as I did just last night). you get to know people, sweat with them and form relationships.

get a small group together at your house, even if only one other person comes; read a book of the bible and talk about it; there are about 15 billion pithy study guides available, it does not take much work, but it is like going to the gym every day. it becomes a workout.

May as well be a good sport about it...

2005-07-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

Alright... so I act like the chickenhawk at times. I'll admit it.

(PMac and his damned analogies!)

best time to plant a tree

2005-07-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago; the next best time is today

african proverb

david & scott are going at it. my responses are in draft form & for once i will take care in responding in time. for i do not want to chop down the tree i just planted before it yeilds any fruit

do what you love

2005-07-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

i have always wanted to be a math teacher - it is my greatest gift. i can "see" math & have always had a very easy time with it, early on in life i knew that i could communicate it to others.

teaching and tutoring is very fulfilling and i am going to continue to pursue this.

Quote from Thomas Friedman's book The World is Flat.

"When I asked Bill Gates about the supposed American education advantage--an education that stresses creativity, not rote learning--he was utterly dismissive. In his view, those who think that the more rote learning systems of China and Japan can't turn out innovators who can compete with Americans are sadly mistaken. Said Gates, "I have never met the guy who doesn't know how to multiply who created software . . Who has the most creative video games in the world? Japan! I never met these 'rote people' . . . Some of my best software developers are Japanese. You need to understand things in order to invent beyond them.""

always be prepared

2005-06-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

i have been blessed. truly. all of that stuff i have studied has lead to some very interesting interactions with people, that is, i get a lot of questions.

there was a time when i was dying to get questions and to be involved with so many things - but God held that off and ripened me. now, many of the things that i thought of & wanted to do are being done by others.

for example, a young couple came to me for help on putting together a church camp for 4-6 graders based on creation. it is something that i proposed to another church but was never able to get off the ground. yet, here came two willing and able people WANTING my ideas and blessing.

taking what i gave them, they ran with it and took it further. they are out doing it right now & i am so pleased.

i get to give several talks & honestly have more opportunities than i can take advantage.

so now i've got to work harder on work & that's okay.

i'm still getting my balls busted & the discipline has been good for me, it will make me a better sales man. sales is what i have to do for the next decade or so.

got in touch with a headhunter, who is sending my resume to a VERY big job in Pittsburgh; i'm ready to pound it out so that i can continue to teach for free, Lord willing

the circumstances

2005-06-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

well, good advice, I appreciate it.

this conversation over Scripture was with Stephen, who approached me to describe my faith & its impact on my life. yet, he has since run away by zinging me with comments that make me laugh.

what happened last week was that we were talking about the consumption of alcohol and he tried to "zing" me again with the "YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN, blah blah blah,,,,," you now exactly what I am talking about.

I retorted with the wedding at Cana & the almost 180 GALLONS of wine; it was a loving and friendly moment. that I could use the wedding like I did is one of the reasons that I believe the Holy Spirit inspired John to give some inside scoop to this event!

thank you for the conversation

expectations

2005-06-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

well, things did not go as i had hoped on the call with del monte. i may not be a fit for the company.

but i had no expectations, i did not set my heart on it; instead i focused setting my heart on "the mind of Jesus." i have never prayed so hard and so often in all my life; i have been communicating to the Father asking for his will to be done. if it is here that he wants me, than soften my heart and teach me to be as joseph with the guards. all of the prayer has really been helpful, i know God is listen ~ i'm just wondering if i am.

every morning i am reading Exodus, how the people wondered so - sounds like me; on this job, it does not matter what time you get in, it matters how late you stay and how many telephone calls that you make. so i've been taking it easy in the morning and working late at night.

there is a very serious need for the Word here, i have been accepted as one of the resident Christians and even had the chance to read the Bible to someone today. he was talking about Jesus and I pulled out John's gospel and gave him some fun things to think about, like 180 gallons of wine!!

blessings

covet your prayers

2005-06-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

I covet your prayers, seriously. I am back in touch with Del Monte for a possiblity of employment; I will be talking with HR tomorrow at 3PM, though I am not sure if it is face to face or over the phone.

I'd rather be there.

Yet this stalag of a work environment will be extremely hard to escape and so I must be cautious on even leaving the building -- they measure your every step and if you are not here late in the day and have not made your number of bricks then the whip comes out.

Actually the whip comes out anyway; I feel sorry for my boss, her only style of motivation is to brutalize people. There is never a right answer to any question and her only comment to you is basically "You suck."

I have been praying for her, her name is Lisa and I ask you to lift her up to the Lord. I do like her, she is funny, but in the end this success is her god and all things are worshipped on it.

She made an awesome statement my first day: "Who you are in the office is who you are with the client; there are not two sides to people there is only one." And she is brutal, obnoxious and in your face -- I wonder why the clients she has assigned me have not responded very well.

But she has the ultimate excuse: she gets to sit back as the sales manager and second guess every interaction I have with a client. Most of them are too polite to say outright that they do not like her, they simply do not do any business.

Again, if the chance comes up for Del Monte, it would be for Susan. She is laid off from work and loving the life of being a stay at home mom. She wants to work on the house and build a very tight relationship with our pre-teen only child, which is spelled out in TIME.

This morning I asked that the Lord show me his will, that his will be done on earth (does that mean it is not always done? of course it does); I also ask that if the answer is no & he wants me here that he give me strenght to do so and be content about it.

was clinton right?

2005-06-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

david is probably going to be pissed at me for taking pot shots at the peace-loving clinton who has the freedom to be a friend of men.

check it out: on david's blog; i don't hate clinton. i think he still has the potential to be a very great man. but to say that he does not say anything against anyone is like saying: "i don't ever look at an other woman's breasts, it offends my wife & i couldn't have love for her, blah blah blah..."

it the economy, stupid!

maybe it was OSAMA, stupid.

but it is easy to blame bill for the weak approach to terrorists; i'm not in the know - but he is a finger pointer all his life and now is reformed, just in time to fly all over the world and keep his mug in the press and his billings up for speaking engagements.

bill clinton is a whore & they never say anything bad against their clients; (but whores can make great government leaders!)

the mind of Christ

2005-06-13T04:34:00.000-07:00

for two months i read, Paul's letters to the Corinthians; mainly because their culture was more like ours than any other he encountered. they were highly focused on commerce and the interaction of multi-cultures.

in 1 Cor 2, he tells them: "we have the mind of Christ."

what does this mean - can we see with God's eyes? can we think God's thoughts?

dichotomy of the law

2005-06-07T04:33:00.000-07:00

working in the environment that i have for the last few weeks has been a blessing. it is energetic & intense ~ there is something in the air of the place and its fast pace that has kept me smiling all day. i am doing work that i really do not understand & you all know how hard that is for me. i've GOT to be the one who gets my head around the topic. i'm getting there, pray for me.

they hired me to be a "farmer" of large accounts that they have already landed. they need more business out of them; but they have very little patience for the development of the second and third pieces of business that often take more than a year. but i will try.

what i have been thinking of is the issue of the law & behavior of humans. we who have come to the knowledge of forgiveness have been schooled by the law. that is we KNOW that we broke God's holy and perfect law.

i believe that everyone knows that they broke God's law, for it is inside of them. every religion and thought system tells us that we need to improve and that there is something missing.

but can we regulate the law from above? can we force others to act a certain way in order for them to be acceptable by God?

we know that if everyone followed the law, things would be better. but we know that no one can follow the whole law.

it is a dichotomy. thoughts?

this very minute my CEO, Lisa is under-going surgery and will be out of the office for 2 to 4 weeks at least. she sent us an email that she wants to see ACTION in the assigned accounts when she gets back (as in proposals to generate revenue). she was soft yesterday and not as intense or harsh as i have seen her. she did not speak to me but i made it a point to talk with her as she was walking out. i reahed out for her hand and as we were shaking, i took her hand into both of mine and said, "we will be praying for you." she was clearly taken back, her eyes opened she pulled up, but she did not move her hand in mine. at first she did not know what to say, but she quickly recovered and said, "well thank you."

it is my sincere wish that she come to know that a believer/follower of Jesus likes her and prays for her and does not beat her with the law, for who am i to preach the law? yet, i am to teach salvation from breaking the law... this is getting sticky.

join me in prayer for her:

Lord, Lisa is your child, you made her and you know her. Be with her today as she is in surgery and throughout the recovery. Be with me as I attempt to reflect your glory in saving faith to her and those who work for her. If it is your will, give me success so that she will keep me on and get to hear & know you more as she gets to know me more. I really like her & wish her well. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

out of the closet

2005-06-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

my business trip was a lot of fun; i learned so much and went to a few places i had never been before, namely Wisconsin.

while in chicago, i had a few hours and was able to take a peek at "Sue" the largest & one of the most complete T-Rex fossils ever found.

while driving from Milwaukee to Green Bay (yes, I got to see Lambeau Field); my CEO was spouting that she was discussed with the American Family Association & then took a few swipes at The Silver Ring Thing. She was cracking me up ~ so I had to let the cat out of the bag: I asked her if she knew anything about my background. She admitted that she did not (apparently the recruiter who has asked me some amazing questions about my faith has never shared that with her).

So I had to tell her that I have taught classes for the Silver Ring Thing and am very close with the founder having taught his children in Sunday School, he is even one of my personal references (and a professional one for teaching).

we had a delightful conversation about freedom of speech, safe sex, abstanence & faith; biology of the sexes and the view of evangelicals in america. then after checking in at the hotel we talked over dinner (with a few drinks) about an amazing variety of things . i told her that it all boiled down to one thing: does she believe that there is a "God" or divine higher power who created us and to whom we are responsible? Yes, was her reply. she gave me a full dose of chopra-style hinduism/budhism "there is no sin" "we create sin by not living our purposes." (Sound familiar David?? - ha - didn't we both believe in that).

the next day she was a little bit iriated with me and I joked with her that a very out of the closet lesbian and a conversative evangelical christian can have a wonderful relationship; her reply: "NO we can't."

who are they to tell me . . .

2005-05-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

well following yesterday's blog about what we can and cannot tell people what they can and cannot do, read this one about behavior that will make you proud to be an American:

Mom Indicted for Hiring Stripper for Teen

Sun May 29, 5:48 AM ET

A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son's birthday party. Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy's father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

"I tried to do something special for my son," Pharris said. "It didn't harm him."

About 10 people under the age of 18 were at the birthday party in September, including minors who were not related to the family, authorities said.

Police spokesman Don Aaron said minors are not permitted in adult establishments.

"A person shouldn't be allowed to circumvent that law by hiring a stripper, a lady who took all her clothes off and spent a good amount of time dancing around minors," he said.

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

"Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" the mother said.

Well who are we exactly to tell anyone what to do? This is one of the most insane things I have ever heard, a MOTHER hiring a stripper and inviting boys from other families. I can only imagine what the trailer park looks like. Dad must be something else a real piece of work.

There is no shame here, there is no sense of propriety; yet I know that people have been this way since the fall. There is nothing different in todays people than there ever was before. All we need to do is read Genesis to see how people were in Noah's day and then of course there is Sodom . . .

today is my 41st birthday, last year Luppe and I were nursing hangovers on a golf course

Fallwell

2005-05-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

One person who I could never understand is Jerry Falwell, he has so many contradictions in his own public ministry ~ that I cannot even identify myself as being part of the same faith.

One is his extreme preaching against homosexuality, he makes it hard to be a follower of Christ in America.

Today I read the website www.fallwell.com, written by a gay man - he is being sued by Falwell to remove the site. He is our age who goes into many agruments about the bible. Ones you have heard before, Leviticus condemns gays, but allows slavery, yadda yadda yadda . . .

That's not the issue, I believe that there are two issues not being identified and/or discussed. Two that I am dealing with now and have begun to learn and incorporate in my life. The first is that of dignity and respect. We as followers of the Lord must treat all humans with dignity and respect. Even in war as oxymoronic as that sounds. This means having relationships with "tax collectors and sinners."

The second is the issue of sin. We must learn how after respecting others to form relationships and then teach about sin. We cannot begin to show someone that they need a savior unless they will listen.

But . . . society must have some acceptable behaviors and laws governing crimes that injure. Child sexual abuse is a crime, so is rape, so is excessive speeding. Yet is speeding a sin?

Ah the challenges of being someone that reflect Jesus.

3 thoughts

2005-05-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

1. old friends, sat on the park bench like bookends (i love that song by Simon & Garfunkel) that was what monday night was like. thanks david.

2. pennies in the cup! i was anxious and worried about getting appointments for next week's trip to chicago & wisconsin. i got it filled up ~ but the CEO was not happy and i heard about it last night at 7:30PM as we reviewed my work. in my 12th hour straight of digging into accounts in my 3rd week of work, she told me i was not digging hard enough. HA! i smiled and said, "it's 7:30, i'm the only one here. i think i'm digging pretty hard.

at 9PM i fell asleep and woke up at 6AM, its now 10AM and i have not done any work. better get to it.

3. the man who recruited me here is very interested in my faith. after everyone left yesterday, he asked me, "has the Lord make a real and positive difference in your life?"

WHAT?! oh Lord, thank you for such an opening. his name is Stephen and he admitted to being a horrible sinner and talked about being held accountable for his actions in this life.

he wanted a short answer and had to leave quickly to go meet with his ex-wife. so i simply told him that my faith did and that we are here because of God, who is a person that we will meet in the future. "what will happen then?" he asked.

i said, "his name is Jesus and i hope that you get to know him. but you have to go, so lets do this over a pint of Guiness one night when we have the time, that's what Jesus himself would do."

he loved that answer and literally RAN for the door.

god bless you all today

random thoughts

2005-05-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

if you have not read david's blog on sex & maturity - go read it. he hit that one out of the park. he sounds very good. scott & i plan to visit him next week.

after 2 weeks of working at Plan4Demand, i am very impressed. the CEO is the hardest charging leader i have ever met. more on her later.

jesus said "I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings." What's that about?

today is my 16th wedding anniversary, my bride is taking our daughter to go see the QV girls promenade their prom dresses, so i took her to lunch instead. there is something entirely sweet about being able to run home for lunch. our marriage is one of those stable periods, a relaxing restful one in the valleys between the storms. yet, her company is suffering and she is going to be laid off. with all that we have been through, it did not phase us one bit.

it was her plan and she is going to watch some other kids, so though money is going to be tight, we'll be fine.

hoping for some big sales.

1 Timothy

2005-05-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

Oh man, I got the juices flowing!

I seem to remember Paul writing to Timmy something about "older women teaching youner women. . . "

Well, let us set the record straight: Scott is in danger mentoring a woman ~ but he has shown discretion MANY times before with her (daughter of the boss BTW aka S.W.Y.E.).

Yet, I'm just a little concerned, but April is a great gal & will be involved. I truly believe that this gal has had a life changing event.

behavior v. belief

2005-05-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

Scott is mentoring someone & the issue of personal behavior has come up. His student thought like many that religion is for the holy - those with "good" behavior.

But faith is about belief not behavior; behavior is a consequence of belief not the precursor.

I think we should explore this.

Have Fun Storming The Castle

2005-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Saturday night, I couldn’t sleep. Don’t know why- but I was tossing and turning and keeping my wife up. (She wasn’t exactly pleased about that..) So I went down to the “Man Room” in my basement and logged on the computer. I figured I might play some “World Of Warcraft” on the computer, and I figured my guild mates from New Zealand would probably on doing some quest. (They are 12 hours ahead of our time).

Like I suspected, they were on. As I mentioned before, they are a Christian “guild” (or club) of guys playing this massively multiplayer online medieval fantasy game. (The guild’s name is “Israel”. 90% of them from are from New Zealand and Australia.) About 19 guildmates were on at 1am EST. I met up with them in the game and journeyed out to the part of the vast in game world to help them with a castle siege they were involved in.

When I got there, the battle hadn’t started- everyone was just waiting around. There were a bunch of new guild members lined up but wearing our “tree with twelve branches” banner for Israel on their chest tabard. (Saul- our guild leader- must have been really doing some recruiting lately.)

While we were waiting for more guild members to get there for the battle, one of the new guys – a mid-ranking “Gimli-Like” dwarf warrior named “Duvo”- came up to me and said “I hear you are the creationist Christian in our guild.”- I told him that yes I am. He said “That’s so odd. I had to re-think Genesis to agree with science before I became a Christian, so for me its hard to believe that someone could know science and still follow a strict interpretation of Genesis.”
I said “It’s a long story, but Its not as preposterous or outlandish as one might think it is. It all comes down to looking at the hard-evidence on both sides of the argument.”

He said “I may be sending you an in-game email with some questions, would you mind?
I said “Not at all.”

At that point, the battle began. “Israel” carried the day. The troll castle didn’t stand a chance.

More importantly, I wonder what Duvo’s questions are gonna be? PMac, you’ll no-doubt be my consultant should he actually send those questions.

since when can science not be challenged?

2005-05-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

At the Kansas education hearing on evolution as perfect science, the science opposition refused to come to the table to face criticism of evolution as an established fact.

I thought that science was self-correcting and that the job of current scientists is to challenge the work of the past, to establish a better understanding of the topic. hmm.

Check it out:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050506/ap_on_re_us/kansas_evolution

david

2005-05-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

i updated david's blog about his surgery & recovery on his tuesday postings. he looks good and is now home recovering. he is a fighter with "stretch" goals to beat this and stablize. i am optimistic - for he was already "in training" as we walked a few steps and talked of the future and read the scripture (1 cor. 15).

we had a nice laugh about "according to their kind" and the implications of that.

i just finished henri nouwen's "the return of the prodigal son" in it, henri talks of "growing up" into becoming the father. quoting paul he says, when i was a child . . . but here is the beautiful point that hit me like a brick this morning:

"As children of the darkness that rules through fear, self-interest, greed, and power, our great motivators are survival and self-preservation. But as children of the light who know that perfect love casts out all fear, it becomes possible to give away all that we have for others."

The theory of evolution, of which we(me) has talked so much - is a theory of immaturity and darkness. It is selfishness and a lack of a relationship with the one who gives selflessly.

In the hospital yesterday, a young, thin, rather attractive Doctor stopped to see how David was doing. She is a resident with his endocrinologist. We had a nice chat, one that seemed surprising to her. Here were two middle aged over-weight men engaging her about her life, her history, her interests and her future career.

She sat next to David and due to the incision, he could not turn enough to see her face, but I got to watch it, her eyes and her face muscles. We talked of many things and she stayed much longer than she anticipated.

When she left, he turned to me and said, "That was nice, she is spiritual. That is what you were like 10 years ago. The church has evangelism all wrong. It should not strive to evangelize (conversion, church-membership, political/pharisitical/republican voting etc.) but to live missionally."

He means that everywhere is a harvest field and every encounter is with another soul; everyone needs to have a relationship with Jesus BUT to have that relationship in terms of faith in God - NOT in terms of what is manifested in this life through faith.

God does not measure as we do; we walk around with rulers as if the length that we see matters.

If you were to face death today, what would you do?

If you were to look in the face of one you love, knowing that this is their last day on earth, what would you say?

Tuesday evening, I drove David's mother back to his house; he needed her to be out of the hosptial, Linda had to focus on him; they needed me - it felt so good to be needed. I cooked them a dinner and stopped home to get it with his mom in the van, then went and got him some treats at Giant Eagle. At his house I stayed with his son for a while, I enjoy him immensely.

I was thanked 10,000 times by all involved but wanted none of it. David has carried me emtionally and spiritually many many times, he has driven early, in the dark to read the bible to me. I would have driven his mother to Peru.

working and writing

2005-05-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

i am working on the kitchen, it has been a typical project for susan and i. we have done most of the work ourselves, it looks great and i am always amazed at how a little paint and hardwork can transform a space.

friends are calling it the "trading spaces" kitchen for we have done it under $1,000. it would be a luxurious room by any standard around the world, though it is only modest here in the US. we are spoiled; forgive us our greed, our coveting more than we need, our gluttony of resources and our rudeness to others.

i am making some new drawers for my bride. i am proud that she has confidence in my abilities to work with my hands: carpentry, electrical, wiring, a little plumbing. i put in a sliding trash container inside a cabinet, just as she wanted. i had to cut through a wall with my reciprocal saw and knock it in with a hammer - does it get any better than that?

i forgot how much i liked working with wood - it soothes me. i often think of joseph, husband of mary, rightful king of israel, a lowly carpenter in a small town. i wonder what it was like to work with jesus, having had angels bring you messages in your dreams ( a very rare occurance in scripture).

changing the subject, i saw jane fonda on jay leno last week. as a combat veteran, i am repelled by even the sound of her name. yet, here she was apologizing for her actions in a way i had never heard before. "How many times should I forgive her Lord, seven times?"

jay asked her how she was handling the abuse from unforgiving veterans on her book tour (some had spit in her face), she answered: "I gird my loins and press on." jay was confused - he had to go over that again. she tried to explain this basic biblical concept to him, but it was not working.

here was an enemy to me and my kinsmen, one who had gone to a far country and squandered her inheritance with evil people. and here she was quoting one of my favorite biblical verses on national television - a verse mind you that i intend to write a book on.

am i the older son, refusing to come into the feast for her?

later she shared that she felt no ill to the man who intended her harm, she instead felt sorry for him - jane was expressing compassion. she was being teleios (mature) as the Father is teleios (perfect). ouch.

the problem with blogs

2005-05-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

for anyone that is visiting, or has - welcome. xcommunicator is an online community of a half dozen close friends, all of whom believe in Jesus as Lord God Almighty, creator, redeemer and truly human.

we all seek one thing, to follow him in this life and beyond. but we are all lost, stumbling in the darkness.

if you knew us, you may not like us (individually or as a group). one thing is for certain: each of us has done something that you will find offensive. the group centers around my friendship with each of these men & their growing friendship with each other.

in writing, words lack tone of voice, facial expression, context and the long pauses of a conversation. in a word intimacy and relationship. yet, the internet allows us to be in touch over many miles and through very difficult circumstances.

we are not soft men, who lack leadership experience. we are prone to back down from a fight - yet we desire peace above all things for we know the author of peace. if we are rude, it could sometimes be chalked up to boyish/impish bottled aggressive behavior. again, eldridge's Wild at Heart comes to mind - it is a must read (and available through david's store Logos . . . no shame in promotion).

the conversation about the cults is so out of proportion it is amazing. its roots are in Scott H's own conversion from being a hardcore evolutionist (among other hardcore behaviors) to being a hardcore biblical literalist.

but he is the sweetest, kindest man most have ever met & a friend to all. if a mormon or JW's worked next to him ~ he would be the first to befriend that person.

so forgive him his sword, he is not a Jedi yet.

pray for our Yoda, he goes under the knife again tuesday.

According to their kind

2005-04-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

Animals coming off of the ark contained all of the genetic information for ALL of the animals that are extant today. What we see today in the variety of animals are though that have LOST genetic information. For example, horses, donkeys, zebra are all the same kind of animal - but with just a variation of the genetic information of the horses that came off of the ark.

take a look at this (Yahoo, has a picture of the pretty little foal):

Zebra Gives Birth to Foal Sired by Donkey

By PHILLIP SPOONER, Associated Press WriterThu Apr 28,11:12 PM ET

It's male. But what is it? A zonkey? A deebra? That's the debate in Barbados since a zebra gave birth to a foal sired by a donkey.

Alex was born April 21, a milk-chocolate brown creature with the black stripes of a zebra on his ears and legs. His face looks more like a horse, with a distinctive black "V" patch on the forehead.

"It's really funny and a little bit freaky," said Natalie Harvey, a 29-year-old waitress. "I was stunned to hear about such a weird thing happening here."

While zebra hybrids are not uncommon, most Barbadians have never seen anything like Alex.

His mother, Allison, is one of two zebras brought to the Caribbean island from Botswana, in southern Africa, in the early 1990s. The other is George and both live at Highland, a six-acre ranch where goats, sheep, ducks and donkeys roam free.

George, however, suffered a long illness, and Allison became friendly with a donkey.

"We knew she was with foal but were not sure who the father was," said Philip Atwell, the head of Highland ranch.

As for George, he seems to get along well with his rival's offspring. Ranchers hope Allison will eventually mate with George, who is now healthy, Atwell said.

In the meantime, Alex is the talk of Barbados.

"It's easier for a zebra to give birth to a donkey than for either of these teams to score a goal!" a frustrated fan shouted during a recent soccer match, to roars of laughter.

Cautious Movie Optimism

2005-04-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

Okay- I'm really excited about the new Ridley Scott movie coming out- "The Kingdom Of Heaven"- about the crusades. It looks pretty epic- and from the director of "Gladiator", I can say that I'm quite hopeful that the movie will be awesome. (PMac, lets plan on seeing this one together and beer and wings after.)

http://www.kingdomofheavenmovie.com/

However...

After my dissappointment with "Sum Of All Fears"- where Clancy's Iranian terrorists detonating a nuclear weapon in Denver during a Super Bowl was "adapted" on screen to be Neo-Nazis detonating a nuclear weapon in Baltimore, I'm a bit concerned about "political correctness" with this one. There's a little voice in my head saying "They are gonna butcher the history in favor of a 'lets all hug a Muslim warrior' post-modernistic stance on the crusade!" I mean, would Ridley Scott risk the ire of left-wingers everywhere and the Pro-Muslim special interests within the US that would scream "YOU ARE ENCOURAGING ANGER AGAINST OUR PEACEFUL PEOPLE AND RELIGION!!"

And to them I say "Read your own book, and tell us what it says." What they don't say is that there is a group that applies an Islamic form of "Sola-Scriptura" to the Koran. They call themselves Al-Queda, and they are led by a man who teaches the Koran and follows its rituals and its verses... particularly the 160+ war verses intended to spread Islam by force.

But I would really hope that the new movie attempts to show a fair and accurate history of the crusades. I would hope that they would have enlisted the consultation of the foremost medieval scholar on the crusades subject, Thomas Madden. I'm currently reading his book "The New Concise History of the Crusades" and I'm really enjoying it.

Its interesting to read about a time when Christians actually mobilized and did anything other than debate scripture. Its amazing that this many Christians felt so strongly about their faith that they would sell their belongings and join with the crusade (then called a "pilgrimage") where the probablilty of their survival/return home was around 5 to 10%. (Meanwhile, many Christians today struggle to get out of bed for worship on Sunday.)

Here's an article Thomas Madden wrote for the National Review.

Crusade Propaganda: The abuse of Christianity’s holy wars.
By Thomas F. Madden, the author of A Concise History of the Crusades and coauthor of The Fourth Crusade, is associate professor and chair of the Department of History at Saint Louis University in St. Louis, Missouri.November 2, 2001 8:00 a.m.

Since September 11 the crusades are news. When President Bush used the term "crusade" as it is commonly used, to denote a grand enterprise with a moral dimension, the media pelted him for insensitivity to Muslims. (Nevermind that the media used the term in precisely the same way before the "gaff.") Attempting to capitalize on this indignation, the leader of the Taliban, Mullah Omar, crowed "President Bush has told the truth that this is a crusade against Islam." Yet clearly the crusades were much on the minds of our enemies long before Bush brought them to their attention. In a 1998 manifesto, cosigned by the leaders of Islamist groups in Egypt, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, Osama bin Laden declared war against the "Jews and the Crusaders." If you didn't guess, the Americans are the crusaders here. On the day the U.S. strikes on Afghanistan began, in a live-from-a-cave address, bin Laden declared Bush to be "the leader of the infidels" in a worldwide war against Islam. He previously warned that "crusader" Bush would lead the infidel forces into Afghanistan "under the banner of the cross."

So, what do the medieval crusades have to do with all this? After all, doesn't the Muslim world have a right to be upset about the legacy of the crusades? Nothing and no.

The crusades are quite possibly the most misunderstood event in European history. Ask a random American about them and you are likely to see a face wrinkle in disgust, or just the blank stare that is usually evoked by events older than six weeks. After all, weren't the crusaders just a bunch of religious nuts carrying fire and sword to the land of the Prince of Peace? Weren't they cynical imperialists seeking to carve out colonies for themselves in faraway lands with the blessings of the Catholic Church? A couch potato watching the BBC/A&E documentary on the crusades (hosted by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame no less) would learn in roughly four hours of frivolous tsk-tsk-ing that the peaceful Muslim world actually learned to be warlike from the barbaric western crusaders. No wonder, then, that Pope John Paul II was excoriated for his refusal to apologize for the crusades in 1999. No wonder that a year ago Wheaton College in Illinois dropped their Crusader mascot of 70 years. No wonder that hundreds of Americans and Europeans recently marched across Europe and the Middle East begging forgiveness for the crusades from any Muslim or Jew who would listen. No wonder.

Now put this down in your notebook, because it will be on the test: The crusades were in every way a defensive war. They were the West's belated response to the Muslim conquest of fully two-thirds of the Christian world. While the Arabs were busy in the seventh through the tenth centuries winning an opulent and sophisticated empire, Europe was defending itself against outside invaders and then digging out from the mess they left behind. Only in the eleventh century were Europeans able to take much notice of the East. The event that led to the crusades was the Turkish conquest of most of Christian Asia Minor (modern Turkey). The Christian emperor in Constantinople, faced with the loss of half of his empire, appealed for help to the rude but energetic Europeans. He got it. More than he wanted, in fact.

Pope Urban II called the First Crusade in 1095. Despite modern laments about medieval colonialism, the crusade's real purpose was to turn back Muslim conquests and restore formerly Christian lands to Christian control. The entire history of the crusades is one of Western reaction to Muslim advances. The crusades were no more offensive than was the American invasion of Normandy. As it happened, the First Crusade was amazingly, almost miraculously, successful. The crusaders marched hundreds of miles deep into enemy territory and recaptured not only the lost cities of Nicaea and Antioch, but in 1099 Jerusalem itself.

The Muslim response was a call for jihad, although internal divisions put that off for almost fifty years. With great leaders like Nur ed-Din and Saladin on the Muslim side and Richard the Lionheart and St. Louis IX on the Christian side, holy war was energetically waged in the Middle East for the next century and a half. The warriors on both sides believed, and by the tenets of their respective religions were justified in believing, that they were doing God's work. History, though, was on the side of Islam. Muslim rulers were becoming more, not less powerful. Their jihads grew in strength and effectiveness until, in 1291, the last remnants of the crusaders in Palestine and Syria were wiped out forever.

But that was not the end of the crusades, nor of jihad. Islamic states like Mamluk Egypt continued to expand in size and power. It was the Ottoman Turks, though, that built the largest and most awesome state in Muslim history. At its peak in the sixteenth century, the Ottoman Empire encompassed all of North Africa, the Near East, Arabia, and Asia Minor and had plunged deep into Europe, claiming Greece, Bulgaria, Albania, Hungary, Croatia, and Serbia. Under Suleiman the Magnificent the Turks came within a hair's breadth of capturing Vienna, which would have left all of Germany at their mercy. At that point crusades were no longer waged to rescue Jerusalem, but Europe itself. Christendom had been shrinking for centuries. The smart money was all on Islam as the wave of the future.

Of course, that is not how it turned out. But surprisingly the rise of the West was not the result of any military victory against Muslims. Indeed, the Ottoman Empire survived largely intact until the end of World War I. Instead, something completely new and totally unpredictable was happening in Europe. A new civilization, built on the old to be sure, was forming around ideas like individualism and capitalism. Europeans expanded on a global scale, leaving behind the Mediterranean world, seeking to understand and explore the entire planet. Great wealth in a commercial economy led to a fundamental change in almost every aspect of Western life, culminating in industrialization. The Enlightenment turned Western attention away from Heaven and toward the things of this world. Soon religion in the West became simply a matter of personal preference. Crusades became unthinkable — a foolishness of a civilization's childhood.

As for the Islamic world, it was left behind. Even today Muslim countries struggle to catch up. It is a difficult task, for they are seeking to reconcile their own culture with modern concepts that are uniquely western. Invariably this tension has led to charges among Muslims that their religion and their world is being sold out. Those Muslim leaders who have dealt with the West have been labeled apostates and sometimes targeted by jihad warriors. Indeed, the vast majority of Islamist terrorism over the last century has been aimed at other Muslims. The division, starkly put, is between those who wish to adopt the benefits of Western culture while retaining a devotion to Islam and those who consider any concession to the West to be an abjuration of faith. In short, it is a division between the medieval and the modern worlds.

Which brings us back to the crusades. If the Muslims won the crusades (and they did), why the anger now? Shouldn't they celebrate the crusades as a great victory? Until the nineteenth century that is precisely what they did. It was the West that taught the Middle East to hate the crusades. During the peak of European colonialism, historians began extolling the medieval crusades as Europe's first colonial venture. By the 20th century, when imperialism was discredited, so too were the crusades. They haven't been the same since. In other words, Muslims in the Middle East — including bin Laden and his creatures — know as little about the real crusades as Americans do. Both view them in the context of the modern, rather than the medieval world. The truth is that the crusades had nothing to do with colonialism or unprovoked aggression. They were a desperate and largely unsuccessful attempt to defend against a powerful enemy.

That's the thing about bin Laden, he is a troublesome mix of the modern and the medieval. He and his lieutenants regularly fulminate about the "nation," a reference to a Muslim political unity that died in the seventh century. They evoke an image of the crusades colored with the legacy of modern imperialism. And they call for jihad, demanding that every Muslim in the world take part. In short, they live in a dream world, a desert cloister where the last thousand years only partially happened.

(end of article.)

you GO boy

2005-04-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

News Release from a top Humanist organization in the UK (4/26/05):

New Pope Denies Evolution

The new Pope, Pope Benedict XVI, in his homily delivered at St Peter's Square during his inaugural Mass on Sunday 24 April 2005 said, "We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God".

"This declaration will be particularly welcome in the United States where so many influential people deny the fact of evolution by natural selection. This, however, is an attack on the work of generations of scientists and is deplorable coming from the head of an organisation with so much influence in education throughout the world", said Mr. Roy Saich of the 'Humanists' web site.

praise god

2005-04-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

i got an offer in writing

having anxiety is a sin. it means that you do not trust in god to provide - OR - you do not trust in the OUTCOME of the trial; i have had A LOT of anxiety. it has been with our family since the fall. (the human family). i KNOW that Jesus tells us to not be anxious, but i have not learned that. yet through it all, i knew there was a lesson, i knew i had screwed up and needed to change. i knew that i was not in the right place & it was time to move on. yet i doubted, i lost sleep.

david's trial is very rough, more so than mine - i am a worried/anxious about him & what my life will be like without such a friend, i think about him constantly and get depressed. no one has ever given to me what he has - how can i ever repay him. give it to others.

last week when i was teaching YWAM, i poured it out. i was weeping at one point - i gave them my best david robinson & then some of me. i am alive when i teach scripture, because another beggar showed me the bread.

you are all my good friends - what i like about you all is that we can say things that you dare not say outloud in a "church." you know what i mean. we are the church, not those damn buildings, fuck them

every day as i think of what i have had to face: NO JOB, i have had someone else to think about. it is hard to be a man without a job. but how nice is it that i have someone who really understands. someone who wishes that he was looking for a job. lup on the other hand is desperate for his first real job, i am excited for him.

mike has had pain too, i remember the day he lost a job. we had talked for days before - when he walked up my sidewalk & told me, it was sad. then he poured his frustration into a few house projects for me - digging a ditch was one. ditcha fucking withca; when the worst rains ever came down on us, my basement was dry as a bone thanks to the awesome muscles and back of Luppe - thanks Mike. even susan called to make sure you knew that your work stood the ultimate test.

i owed him & when it came time to do his basement, we did it right, power outlets everywhere - cable, phone from every angle; walls & drywall. it sold the place & we had a blast working together on it.

when david or mike or scott & i talk, they want to hear about me and my problems, i love you guys - david has given me his time (HA! that is all he has to give now, it is precious to me). he went over the presentation that i was to give to the CEO of P4D.

last week we sat for awhile and he read the presentation and then gave me some serious pointers - it made me sound like i knew more than i did; i was so glad to be coached by my old mentor, it had been a while. yoda was speaking, he was teaching. he is a better teacher than i am; david did you see me sucking it all up - i hope you liked it, i know i did.

I used david's material in my presentation, they liked what i had to say. they nodded at key points. i smiled back - God is good, is all that i was thinking.

i'm taking the job, if another one comes along so be it, but at least i can pay the mortgage next month & i have friends closer than brothers.

one in the bag

2005-04-26T12:09:00.000-07:00

well, i have a verbal offer from Plan4Demand they want me to start in two weeks pending some issues; i expect it in writing by the end of the week. my only concern is that another "perfect" job will come along.

i'll have to pray to make the correct decision & be patient. i do not want to rush into anything just to get a job.

yet, i've got to have a job.

i have not heard back from Del Monte & as time stretches from the interview - it does not look good. they seem to think that I am too old, that I would be regressing. P4D wants me in a "mature" position.

since when is 40 old?

interview/presentation

2005-04-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

I had to make a presentation to a company today; giving them their powerpoint back to them.

They were not looking for my technical expertise but my overall ability to speak in front of people. HA! - They were asking me if I was comfortable in front of people. Well it seemed to worked, they liked me gave me positive feedback and hopefully in the future I can continue to buy food for my family.

down & out

2005-04-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

i've been off the blog lately. fighting depression from the loss of my job. i don't want to sound bitchy & i know that i will. my tendency is to bitch too much.

besides, when your best friend is fighting a life changing disease and goes in for corrective surgery only to be told he has CANCER - a job loss seems trite.

i have been interviewing. i can hear it in his voice "i wish i had the strength to go interview; i wish i had the chance to be standing in front of people talking."

i have to give a presentation to the CEO of P4D on monday. david helped me, so did some friends in cleveland ysterday - it was good.

things have settled from my dispute with the former employer, they agreed to pay; but they had to kick me on the way down. my temper is boiling and raging inside, it is only masked by the experience of being totally humiliated.

maybe God is trying to teach me to become humble, that way humiliation is not so bad.

david & i talked of cancer. i have heard that some now believe cancer cells to be the original genetic structure of a human BEFORE the fall. but in the cursed state the body must expell these IMMORTAL cells; that is in order to live we function with dying cells.

my favorite christian author is eldridge. i will read whatever he writes (he likes hiking and swords and good movies); in Waking The Dead he writes about retaining a shadow of humanity's original glory. i have the book on CD, bought at david's store, read by eldridge; i listen to it every few months.

i highly recomend it; if you have not read "Wild at Heart" you are missing out.

pray for david

2005-04-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

David went into the hospital for surgery today, pray that the Lord use this for his glory.

My unemployment is not so bad in light of being cut open on an operating table.

anxiety

2005-04-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

i am so full of anxiety & worry right now. i know that the WORD says to not be anxious and to trust completely in God, but i'm a screw-up & worried about screwing up again.

God does not have to live with my wife, if i can't pay the mortgage soon.

unemployment is hard for a man, it is a castration of your personality & ego. something must be wrong with you.

i told mike about my interview today with Del Monte - they were four of the brightest people i have ever met; young superstars interviewing an older man - they all asked the same question, so they must be worried about me fitting in with a group of young hotshots as peers.

when did i get old?

This Flu That Is Going Around.

2005-04-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, this flu is a nasty beast. I've been down and out since Sunday. The only reason I came to work today is because after my honeymoon, I had no vacation days left. 2 days without pay are all I can afford, 3 would be pushing it. (Gotta love my company's benefits... but that's another post for another day).

I hope you guys don't get this flu. Its a nasty bugger. My wife has it and is home in bed right now. My parents- both of whom had flu shots- still got it, and got it big-time. I was in bed for three days, going through periods of fever, chills and cold sweats. Then there's the congestion that hinders much sleeping... Luckily, I'm improving.

(David, I hope you stay healthy with all you are going through with your other health problems. You don't want this on top of it.)

I watched much TV, because the headache I had wasn't conducive to reading. My wife has me hooked on "Animal X" on Animal Planet. Its a series that investigates cryptozoology. Its mostly about things such as sasquatch, yetti, loch-ness, sea-monsters, and chupacabra. Its entertaining at the very least. One special had a bunch of scientists and skeptics trying to call a "sasquatch" using recorded tapes and amplification. (This all in the pitch-black of night...)

You've never seen so many "scientists" turn-tail and run for their vans and get out of there once they heard a few non-human sounding shrieks that seemed to be getting closer! Good stuff.

Can Mary-ology Ever Be Discussed Objectively?

2005-04-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

So much is being written and said about the late John Paul II this week. He was indeed a very significant man in our history, and I respect much of what he did and said. To his credit, and to the credit of Roman Catholics, he never faltered in speaking out against the “culture of death”. It is good to note the common-ground the Pope had with protestant evangelicals in his time of remembrance.

Still, I can’t help but note the differences that still split God’s church. What will it take before the body becomes one again? What will it take for the faithful to feel the need to become one? I don’t know, and I don’t know if protestants or Catholics necessarily feel the need to do so. I can say that for my part, Mary-ology is like a giant lock that keeps me out of any objective look into Roman Catholicism. Scripturally, there’s no support for it. As a matter of fact, its even cautioned against. Mary-ology is one of those things that the more you look into it, the more potentially dangerous and irrational it seems.

Why is this important? Well, I think Mary-ology is the MAIN stumbling block whereby well versed Bible-readers are hindered from becoming Roman Catholic. One need only read the transcript of John Paul II’s speech at Fatima from the early 80s to realize how out of control the “Mary-Reverence” has gotten. The only problem is that it simply isn’t found in the Bible. Paul doesn’t revere her, or give her much mention (if at all.) James, John, and Peter offer about the same evidence. So how did this all happen? It’s almost impossible to read Catholic texts on the matter and not call it mass idolatry of the highest order.

I’ve been doing some research in the matter, and I have found Catholic apologists to be VERY defensive of this concept, yet they offer very little convincing evidence. Here’s an example from http://www.catholic.com/library/Immaculate_Conception_and_Assum.asp

“Since the Immaculate Conception and Assumption are not explicit in Scripture, Fundamentalists conclude that the doctrines are false. Here, of course, we get into an entirely separate matter, the question of sola scriptura, or the Protestant "Bible only" theory. There is no room in this tract to consider that idea. Let it just be said that if the position of the Catholic Church is true, then the notion of sola scriptura is false. There is then no problem with the Church officially defining a doctrine which is not explicitly in Scripture, so long as it is not in contradiction to Scripture.

The Catholic Church was commissioned by Christ to teach all nations and to teach them infallibly—guided, as he promised, by the Holy Spirit until the end of the world (John 14:26, 16:13). The mere fact that the Church teaches that something is definitely true is a guarantee that it is true (cf. Matt. 28:18-20, Luke 10:16, 1 Tim. 3:15).”

That last sentence is laughable, to say the least. Here again, we see the implied “doctrine of infallibility” of the Roman Catholic Church. Here we have the old “We said it, therefore its true” line of reasoning. It is a shame that such an approach must be taken on the subject. Truly, if Jesus Christ intended for me to revere and worship His mother and buy into a doctrine of “Immaculate Conception” whereby she was born without sin, I honestly would like to investigate the matter further. If these are indeed His wishes, count me in. However, nobody seems to be able to find where that mandate was given without pulling out that handy-dandy “infallibility of His church” trump card that the RCs are keen to play when things get a bit uncomfortable. Why is this so? Can Catholics and evangelicals not have an objective dialogue on this matter and its historical/scriptural foundation? From what I have seen, it doesn’t seem possible.

That’s not to say that fellow evangelicals don’t have some whacked notions about how to worship. Without scriptural/historical support, I think those notions must be evaluated as well, the same as the Mary-ology issue. The question is, can Christians sit down and talk about these things objectively, or –like the Pharisees of old- are we too hung-up on our own “tradition” and “ceremony” to do such introspection?

Honestly, if I -as a Christian- am expected to worship Mary as my “Mother” and as an intercessor between myself and Christ for my sins, I would kind of like to know the basis for that. However, it seems that Roman Catholics play the same marketing campaign as Kelloggs Corn Flakes “The Original And The Best”. Of course, they take it one further and throw in “The Original, the Best, and Infallable too.”

However, the church of Laodicea could argue that they were part of the “original” apostolic church too, and Revelation 3 is quite clear about how Christ Himself was unhappy with them, to say the least, so we cannot assume infallibility there- or anywhere.

Burning, unaddressed questions remain on the “doctrine of Mary and Immaculate Conception”. Why was Paul so unaware of this trend? Why was John and Peter unaware of it? John- whom Christ entrusted with Mary’s care- would be the foremost expert on this doctrine- yet his writings in the canon of scripture support none of the Mary-ology that RCs claim. My question is “Would 1st century Jews (such as Peter, Paul, Matthew, and John) have pushed a “virginal Mary worship doctrine” given the cultural views of middle-eastern women of that time, especially if their writings themselves don’t support it?

(Frankly speaking, Christ indicates that the highest “ranking” among those born of women is John the Baptist.)

Matthew 11:11 11I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist”

And, in keeping with that, what does John the Baptist himself say on the matter?
John 3:30 “30He (Christ) must become greater; I (Johns) must become less.”

So I don’t think John himself would tolerate his own name being used in worship or any sort of deification, and he ranks first among humans.

So where does this Mary thing come in? HOW does this Mary thing come in?

Perhaps a new Pope will be able to enter into an official dialogue about this topic. However, I probably have a better chance of winning the PowerBall lottery than we have a chance of that actually happening. I would be curious to learn how this whole thing started though. I would really like to study the history of this Mary thing for my own knowledge.

sunrise, sunset

2005-04-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

My time at Soaring Eagle is done, though my paycheck is not, yet . . .

I am moving on and have several opportunities lined up. I am truly excited about the possibility of going to Del Monte Foods, I have an interview Tuesday - before that I have two or three other interviews & I am smiling from ear to ear.

Momma is nervous and mad - ain't like tough sometimes?

David is right, Scott's writing could be a book. You are gifted Mike's ideas could feed Scott's pen - what a lovely thought; spoken like the true owner of a Christian bookstore!

Blessings Brothers!

Hey, hey Johnnie

2005-04-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

Karl where have you gone? Will I see you again?

My heart goes out to the largest group of Christians, to which we all have an affinity and should honor and respect, for the loss of their leader.

I was a freshman at Bishop Canevin Catholic High School being taught Latin by a native-born Polish nun when Karl became John Paul ~ clearly God had a plan in the events of Europe & the world to bring a non-Italian to Roman power.

John Paul was an exciting Christian figure & he stood tall against many things, including aethistic Communism.

He was a great man among men & I'll have to forgive him his double talk & loss of Biblical understanding for issuing an official vatican decree that evolution and the bible are not in conflict. He had bigger things to handle (there's more than just that one piece - the RC church has gone far down the evolution path, rejecting the biblical position of death as a result of sin).

Here is a direct quote from the infallible mother church, under the pen of John Paul:

Today, almost half a century after the publication of the Encyclical, fresh knowledge has led to the recognition that evolution is more than a hypothesis. It is indeed remarkable that this theory has been progressively accepted by researchers, following a series of discoveries in various fields of knowledge. The convergence, neither sought nor fabricated, of the results of work that was conducted independently is in itself a significant argument in favour of this theory.

He has stuck to some essential truths that have been needed to be proclaimed such as his stance on life. (Yet, I have had a hard time with the church's pro-evolution stance mingling with its pro-life stance; how can you understand life outside of creation and how can you understand death outside of sin - but that's just me; millions of years of diseased creatures eating each and then one of them gets the image of God is hard to find in the Word).

I look forward to seeing him in the kingdom, he is one man I hope to meet and talk with him (if that is even possible).

gayla

2005-04-01T20:02:00.001-08:00

gayla is wife to one man, mother to one son

i am husband to one wife, father to one daughter - so fathers be good to your daughters.

if you want to post a link simply highlight and copy from the address or url line and the you can paste (control v) http://heart-journey.blogspot.com/ or click on the "paper clip over the globe" which means link to the world, like this:

Gayla

Thanks for stopping by

gayla

2005-04-01T20:02:00.000-08:00